#and by that I mean I need to come up with a different tag for it lol

[zeroducks-2]

tags by @nicky-olives

I strongly agree with this point, however I think it's important to note that what's being discussed here is the fact that there is an effort from DC's part to erase every form of found family dynamic and non-heteronormative relationships from their stories, which is a different topic from the ship and let ship conversation.

What I mean with this is that of course everyone can ship Bruce and Dick, regardless of the circumstances. If Dick was Bruce's biological son there would be nothing wrong with shipping them, because it's not real and it's just people having fun playing with dolls. However queer people from all over the world have been identifying with Bruce and Dick's relationship, especially during a time where gayness and gay relationships were way more taboo and dangerous to actually perform than they are now. Queer men especially identified with how the trauma of the loss of their families makes Dick and Bruce similar (and having an estranged family was very frequent among queer people, back then even more than today), but they choose to find another family in each other. Bruce and Dick share a secret that is one of the most important parts of their life, and they can freely be themselves with each other, no need to lie or pretend. And despite the respective escapades to keep an appearance of normalcy when it comes to their "public life", they are each other's most important person, the one they could never part from,

Again, this is not something DC did *on purpose*. But queer people read into it and then DC caught on, and and for this and other reasons they started pushing the narrative of "they are father and son, and you're gross and weird if you ever think for a second that they could have THAT kind of relationship! You freak of nature! Degenerate!" And lots and lots and lots of baby queers keep nodding to this, and they shame fellow queers by repeating this same rhetoric because it works.

It's not just about ship and let ship because it's fictional, it's about a very important part of queer history which is getting flushed down the drain to protect the sanctity of a "family" which is not real and is not even a family, and about how DC itself has been complicit with this for years, same as it is complicit with pushing narratives such as how nuclear family is the only possible kind of family, biological family is more important than adoptive family, and how two people who have even just some sort of vague relationship of cooperation are "brothers" and cannot therefore have a romantic relationship.

More on that point, think of Tim Drake is now out as bisexual and has a canonical boyfriend. It would be legitimate to wonder if his first crush was Dick Grayson, or even Bruce Wayne, while growing up and seeing all these very handsome boys in skintight suits. And so DC avoids this conversation by doubling and tripling down on how Dick and Tim are BROTHERS, and how (implicitly, pushed by their own fans who are queer themselves) thinking that Tim might have a crush on him is something only a freak of nature would do. Same goes for Tim and Bruce, because they are FATHER and SON.

Of course we can ship whatever we want regardless of the dynamic. But DC has been doing this for years and a huge, HUGE chunk of their fans are lapping this narrative up, and using it to hurt other fans. It's at this point a vicious cycle.

What's up with batman and the erasing of queer history? Sry I try to interact with fanon as little as possible

There is no simple or short answer to this but to try and not make it a wall of text - Batman/Robin has always been a staple of the queer community, so much so that to this day there are "brudick" graffiti in big cities and lots of older gay couples have been using them as a reference for solid partnership which endures in spite of adversity.

Originally there was no indication anywhere that Bruce and Dick were in the roles of father and son, rather they were partners against crime, one the shadow of the other, and they would share everything both when it came to crime fighting and in their everyday lives. They're shown sleeping together, going on lake trips together, finishing each other's sentences and Dick being viciously jealous every time Bruce would "replace" him with any of the women he used to have flings with such as Talia or Selina.

Did DC mean for them to be read as a queer couple? No, of course not. Bob Kane and others wrote a partnership, an unbreakable bond which would allow these two men to overcome any obstacle together, and queer people read into it as queer people always do.

Someone else read into it though: Frederick Wertham, who called Batman a pederast and used Batman and Robin as an example of how the evil comics would corrupt young minds to send them on the way of perdition and sin. He wrote all of this and many more infuriating shit in his book Seduction of the Innocents, which was then the major influence in creating the Hayes Code, which is the reason why we never had queer characters in comicbooks and movies and anything really for decades (and we're still struggling today).

Wertham and the Hayes Code did not stop the queer community from loving Batman and Robin though, therefore what started happening was the more subtle shift towards Bruce and Dick having a father and son relationship rather than a partnership. You can see this clearly with Jason Todd for the first time: Bruce takes Jason in and treats him as his own son, the narrative calls them father and son, and there is no doubt in the mind of who's reading that Bruce perceives Jason as his child. It all went steadily downhill from there.

Nowadays, writers have Dick say character assassinating things like "I love you dad" to Bruce, Tim saying "we will save our dad" to Damian, and everyone in the fandom acting like this has always been the case and actually you're weird and you should be sent death threats for shipping Brudick, because "UMMM that is literally his son?!??!?!?". DC has been pushing the idea that these folks are a nuclear family for a while now, but whoever has actually read the comics knows it's not the case, and it used to be very different before.

Brudick, among queer people, used to be entirely uncontroversial. While Wertham raged about how it corrupted the minds of young men and the Hayes Code prevented queerness to be anything but vaguely hinted and coded in the text, queer folks didn't care and kept having matching Batman and Robin shirts.

Today queer people will call you a pedophile and a groomer and try to doxx you for posting Brudick art because apparently they're doing the fascists' job for them, either because they are genuinely misguided or because they think that if they're enough morally pure they will have a spot among the chosen ones, hell if I know. What I know is that they'd suck Wertham's cock and balls if he wrote Seduction of the Innocents today, and it's DC's fault too with their erasure of every found family dynamic among the batclan, and the way they've been pushing the idea of a "batfamily" instead, in which everyone has a strict role of son or brother or father, and shipping them makes you the antichrist.

[utilitycaster]

something that struck me from some of the really good tags on this post (specifically the "tall kings") one is that most arguments against the gods or for the benefit of Predathos rely on real-world metaphors that just...don't really fit very well, and it might just be that this isn't something for which one can draw a real world metaphor, but might actually have to conceive a world that is fundamentally different than ours. The gods aren't tall kings; "destroying the throne" does not mean a coup. It means their deaths; and yes, to state the obvious a coup against a monarchy frequently involves assassinating the monarch, but it's telling that the language is carefully skirting around that. You cannot destroy the throne or remove the crown or have the gods step down in any peaceful manner; both the Matron and Arch Heart agree this only happens if the threat of Predathos is unleashed.

And Predathos. Setting aside the connotations of assigning the idea of wild deer to sentient beings, the "reintroduction of the natural predator" metaphor collapses on several points. The first is that equating "became deities, who, as the post linked above points out and per general lore, are explicitly not able to run rampant anymore". The second is that Predathos is not a wolf that once lived on Exandria but is just as foreign to the world as the gods themselves. While I reject the metaphor entirely for the initial reasons stated, it is worth keeping in mind that if you do need it as a scaffolding on which to hang foreign concepts, Predathos is less the wolf population and more a family of tigers or cheetahs: just as much an invasive species, with an impact on the environment

I think these are two major issues that need to be addressed in any conversation:

Predathos has been adopted and mythologized by several party members who are actually much more concerned about the titans, who are dead. Killing the gods will not bring back the titans. I feel this metaphor is sort of falling into that same trap; this is not a return of something native to this world.

On some level, while I understand the use of real-world metaphors to comprehend a fantasy world from a lens of familiarity - I do this as well! - I think if we cannot have a discussion that starts with "what if Predathos is in fact the embodiment of a cosmic, unending, merciless hunger that cannot be changed and cannot be swayed and can only be sealed, killed, or given free rein" we cannot have a discussion at all. I think it's necessary to acknowledge we're talking about a game that gives you a space to explore an idea as if it were physical, and which might not be able to be told within the bounds of real-world experience.

This of course also doesn't address the ongoing issue of "whether or not Bells Hells actions towards Predathos and the outcome ends up being in the moral right, the road to get here was structurally unsound and the party did not go in with the intent of doing anything specific whatsoever and indeed faltered for the most part when asked by the main villain what they wanted." Again, I don't care if Bells Hells are heroes or villains or something in between, but they don't seem to be anything or have any shared intention as a group, which I've discussed already here. But if you do want to argue that releasing Predathos could be good, I think it's necessary to have a coherent argument there, and be able to address "what if it's really fucking bad" if we're moving into the realm of the speculative. "What if this change that comes at the end of mass death might be better for the world but I have no proof" is not a very convincing argument. It is, in fact, one of the only ones Bells Hells has made a compelling case against.

[aquamarixx]

breaking point

faking an injury to escape the burn out, Hiori Yo meets you at the brink of his breaking point and discovers what’s he’s missing; the courage to breathe, to rest, and to finally choose himself for once.

⁺₊ ❆ TURNING POINT 2025 ENTRY ❆ ₊⁺ pairing hiori yo x reader word count 2.3k words tags post timeskip, aged up, hurt/comfort, good ending, hiori just tired of the endless grind navigation

Hiori Yo is exhausted.

Ever since getting out of Blue Lock and being drafted into Bastard München, football has consumed his entire life. The intense matches, relentless training, and constant scrutiny have left him drained, with no time to breathe or process the pressure he feels both on and off the field. 

Every move on the field feels like walking a tightrope, with countless eyes ready to tear him apart the moment he stumbles. His teammates are laser-focused on victory, their intensity leaving no room for camaraderie. And then there are his parents.

His parents, teetering on the brink of divorce,who continue to see him as their last hope to fix their fractured relationship. But Hiori knows better.

No amount of football glory will solve their problems.

He would rather have them get divorced than let their dissatisfaction and resentment towards each other fester any further. Because at this point, there’s nothing to save.

No one’s winning. Not his mom, not his dad, and especially not him. 

So when a nasty collision with Barou during an exhibition match against Italy Ubers results into a mild sprain, Hiori takes advantage of it. He pretends his injuries are worse than they are, hoping to escape the constant grind of football and take a much-needed break. 

The league assigns him to you, a young physical therapist with a promising reputation.

When he first meets you, the first thing he notices are your eyes. Your eyes—so bright and full of life—are a stark contrast to his own, dulled by burnout.They’re so full of life. 

Even your handshake catches him off guard, firm and enthusiastic, as if you genuinely care about this moment. You shake his hands, a little too eager, a little too tighter than he expected.

Aah. Must be nice, Hiori thinks, to have that kind of passion and not feel like you're being crushed by it.

“It’s a Grade 2 sprain,” you explain during your first consultation. “No broken bones or torn tissues, just mild swelling. With proper care, you’ll be back on the field in three to six weeks.” You pause, glancing at your clipboard. “I do recommend physical therapy to ensure everything heals correctly, and your team manager requested it as well.”

Three to six weeks. It’s isn’t bad. But if he plays his cards right, maybe he can stretch it to ten or even twelve weeks. Anything to keep himself off the field a little longer.

At first, Hiori half-heartedly goes through the motions. But as the weeks pass, you notice how quickly he’s recovering. By the third week, it’s clear he could be back to full strength in another three.

That’s when Hiori ups his game.

“I’m still feeling some pain,” he tells you during a session, wincing for effect as he tests his ankle.

Alarmed, you immediately run additional tests. The results come back clear—no abnormalities, no lingering issues. But Hiori insists the pain is real, suggesting he just needs more rest at home (and by “rest,” he means gaming marathons on his PC).

Your concern deepens, not wanting to risk it, especially since Hiori isn’t just any athlete. “Skipping therapy isn’t an option,” you warn, your tone firm but not unkind. “If you don’t stick to the regimen, I’ll have to notify your team.”

Hiori stiffens. His plan to buy more time is starting to backfire. Begrudgingly, he agrees to continue.

As the weeks go by, Hiori does find himself looking forward to your sessions. You’re different from the cold, mechanical efficiency he’s used to in his professional life. You’re kind and thoughtful, and he notices how your eyes light up when you’re helping others.

Even when you’re clearly exhausted, you go out of your way to cheer up the kids waiting in the clinic, slipping them candy when no one’s watching. Sometimes, the older patients would strike up conversations, and though you’d apologize to him afterward for the delay, he never really minded.

There’s something appealing about your openness, your passion, the way you seem to pour your whole heart into every detail of your work. He envies it. It’s the same kind of fire he used to have for football, the fire that now feels like a dying ember.

And as he continues to enjoy his sessions with you, the guilt starts to pile up. He sees the extra hours you put in, combing through his test results, double-checking your notes. One night, he overhears you fretting aloud about the possibility of ruining someone’s career or being seen as incompetent.

“What if I’m wrong?” you whisper but it can’t hide the fear in your voice. “What if I’m missing something and it ruins his career?”

He recognizes the weight of your anxiety—the same kind of crushing pressure he feels from his parents’ expectations. For the first time, he sees her not just as an obstacle to his rest, but as someone who understands his struggles.

It eats him, seeing someone who’s only trying to help him be that affected by his lies. 

During a particularly long session, you’re clearly worn down. You arrived later than usual, in a disheveled state. Your hair is a mess, a couple of strands escaping your low bun. Bags grow darker under your eyes and there’s sluggishness in your movements. You skim through your notes quickly, your voice faltering under the weight of your own exhaustion.

“So, Hiori, it’s possible this could be an occult fracture or stress fractures,” you say, speaking faster than usual for someone who’s tired. “These can happen because of repetitive injuries or even normal stress on weakened bones. Normally, the body can repair these fractures with time, but without rest, they can worsen, potentially leading to larger fractures.”

Normally, the bone is able to repair these small fractures. But that needs time. When the activity continues or happens again before the repairs are complete, these small fractures can add up to form a stress fracture. In extreme cases, ongoing activities can cause sudden larger fractures.” You were talking a bit faster, skimming through your notes. The guilt begins to seep in. 

You pause, rubbing your temples. “I’ve never handled a case like this before, so I’ve been consulting with other colleagues and rechecking everything. Your team manager agreed to extend your therapy for another four weeks—just to be safe.”

“I haven’t had a case like this before. So it might take a couple of more weeks for us to address the issue. I hope you didn’t mind that I took the liberty of talking to your team manager to extend your sessions for at least 4 more weeks.”

Four more weeks. He should be thrilled, but all he sees is the strain in your posture and the doubt clouding your voice. He can’t take it anymore.

“I’ve been lying,” he blurts out, the words sharp and trembling as if they’ve been clawing their way out for weeks.

You pause mid-note, your pen hovering over the paper. Slowly, you lift your eyes to meet his. “What?”

“I… I exaggerated my injury,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “I needed an excuse—a way out. From football, my parents, everything.”

Your gaze remains steady, unreadable, as his words hang in the air. Then, you blink, your lips parting slightly in disbelief. “You… lied?”

He looks down, shame written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I just—”

“You lied?” you repeat, the weight of his confession beginning to sink in. Your voice is calm, but there’s a quiet tremor beneath it, a raw edge he doesn’t miss. “Hiori, do you have any idea what you’ve put me through?”

“I didn’t mean—”

“Do you have any idea?” you interrupt, your tone still measured, though cracks of exhaustion begin to show. “I’ve been losing sleep over your case. Nights spent second-guessing every test, wondering if I missed something crucial. I’ve gone over your file more times than I can count because I thought I was failing you.”

He flinches, guilt carving deep lines into his face. “I didn’t think—”

“No, you didn’t,” you say, the weight of your words pressing down on him. Your voice isn’t loud, but it’s tired, worn thin by the toll of his deception. “You didn’t think about how this would affect me. About the stress, the doubt, the hours I’ve poured into trying to help you.”

“I know,” he murmurs, his voice cracking. “I know I messed up. But I didn’t do it to hurt you. I just… I couldn’t breathe anymore.” Now, it’s his turn to break. 

And you notice it. How tense he is, as if there’s so much he’s been carrying on his back. Your shoulders slump slightly, the anger ebbing into something more fragile. But you don’t respond, letting the silence stretch until he speaks again.

“My parents… They’ve always been fighting, ever since I can remember. And I’m stuck in the middle, trying to hold everything together. Football used to be my escape, but now it’s just another thing they argue about. Another way for them to push me. I didn’t know how to tell anyone.”

The room grows heavy with his confession. You glance at him, and for the first time, his usual calm exterior has shattered, revealing a young man who’s barely holding himself together.

Taking a deep breath, you place your notes down and fold your hands. “Hiori,” you say softly, though there’s still an edge of weariness in your tone. “Running from your problems doesn’t make them go away. And pulling other people into your escape… it’s not fair. To me, or to yourself.”

He nods, his eyes downcast. You hesitate for a moment before continuing.

“And you can’t just admire passion from afar, Hiori. You have to fight for it. Even when it feels like the world is against you.”

His eyes meet yours, wide and glassy. “I know,” he whispers. “I just didn’t know what else to do. But… meeting you, seeing how much you care—about your work, about your patients—it’s made me realize something.”

You raise an eyebrow, but stay silent, letting him continue.

“You don’t just care because it’s your job,” he says, his voice steadying. “You care because it’s who you are. And seeing that… it made me realize how far I’ve drifted from what I used to love. From who I want to be.”

His words catch you off guard, striking a chord you didn’t expect. You look at him for a long moment, your exhaustion giving way to something softer. Your expression softens as his words sink in. 

“I want to try. Not just for football, but for myself. For everything I’ve been running from.” He nods, his expression resolute. 

For the first time since his confession, a faint smile tugs at your lips. “Good. Because the only way out of this is through it.”

“Also… You know I should report this, right?” you say, half-joking, as Hiori stays quiet, his expression flickering with surprise at the sudden shift in tone.

“But I won’t,” you add, your grin softening. “Doctor-patient confidentiality and all.”

You laugh, and after a beat, he laughs too—a sound lighter than anything you’ve heard from him before.

In that moment, something shifts. The air feels lighter, the tension unraveling into something resembling hope. He came here for a way to heal his body, but what he found was a way to start healing his soul.

And you, despite your exhaustion, can’t help but feel a flicker of pride—because maybe, just maybe, you’ve helped him take the first step toward being whole again.

From that day on, Hiori approaches therapy differently. The façade he had built around himself starts to crack, allowing glimpses of the person he truly is. He stops faking symptoms and begins putting in genuine effort, not just for his body but for his mind. Each session becomes more than just a routine of stretches and exercises—it’s a space where he starts to confront the feelings he’s buried for so long.

When the two of you are alone, you talk about things outside football, like good old friends. He talks about the pressure he’s been under, the weight of expectations from everyone around him, and the way football, once his passion, had turned into a source of dread. You listen, guiding him where you can, but mostly letting him navigate his own thoughts. 

It’s a strange dynamic, but somehow, it feels natural. It feels right.

Outside of therapy, Hiori begins to address the chaos at home. For the first time, he sits his parents down and tells them how their arguments have affected him, how he’s been caught in the crossfire of their unhappiness. It’s not easy, and there are setbacks, but he’s no longer running from the conversations that once felt impossible. 

By the time his final session arrives, he’s changed a bit. He’s still Hiori—the same sharp-witted, slightly mischievous person you met weeks ago—but there’s a newfound lightness in him. 

As the session wraps up, he lingers by the door, his usual confidence replaced by something a little more hesitant. Finally, he turns to you, his hands shoved into his pockets. “I know this is probably the worst time, but… would you maybe want to grab coffee sometime?

The question catches you off guard, and for a moment, you’re unsure how to respond. 

“You’re the first person I’ve felt like I could really talk to in… forever.” He confesses. And you see it—the sincerity in his eyes, the vulnerability he’s no longer afraid to show. It’s not the charm of an athlete used to getting his way; it’s the genuine request of someone who’s found a lifeline and wants to hold onto it, if only for a little while longer.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “Okay,” you say finally, a smile breaking through the fatigue. “But only if you promise to stop faking injuries.”

Hiori laughs—a real, unburdened laugh that seems to echo in the room, filling the space with warmth. “Deal,” he says, his grin wide and boyish.

amari's notes: this went on a bit longer than i wanted. this has been a longtime headcanon. i think he'll try to get out of playing football for a while to rest and rot in his bedroom to play games. anyway, I’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave a reply or drop an ask or even a request! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

taglist: @inu1gf

[onboardsorasora]

hii, i was wondering if you have de-aged/ agere maxiel suggestions? i don’t mind whether it’s max or daniel who de-ages, but your series got me hooked and i’ve been looking all over for fics like it 🥹

thank you in advance if you can <3

hi bestie!!! I'm so chuffed that my fic awakened something in youuu!

Here are a few on ao3, I know there's probably a bunch on tumblr but the tagging system is a mess so if any other besties wanna come through with a link or name that would be super appreciated!

these are in no ranking order! just how they came up when I searched my bookmarks (so that probably means they're in order of most recently posted/updated):

Baby Steps by @awaywegofg Regressed Max/Caregiver Daniel - Love this fic, its 8 chapters in and I love the dynamic of the caregiver/little relationship between Max and Daniel. and its so bloody well written The Turkey Dinosaurs Verse by @33max Regressed Max/Caregiver Daniel - So lovely and well thought out. The series ranges a bunch of different themes and topics and theyre all so soft and soothing

It's You And Me (I Know It's My Destiny) by @sunsetmog Regressed Max/Caregiver Daniel - Help! this verse is so dang cute! (but also so achey (incredibly affectionate)) Its also cross posted, so you can also find it on their dash.

Crayons Verse by @burnishedvictory Regressed Max/Caregiver Daniel - Can't lie, I reread All Yous Are Good fairly often. Its just so... soothing to me. Its only been eclipsed by how often I pop in to read Day or Night

Ingenuous by @shirferraristrategy Regressed Daniel/Caregiver Max - Won't lie, it's been a while since I read this one. It's currently sitting in that deadzone of the middle of my bookmarks. Will be rereading this weekend because we love a hyper regressed Danyul!

Don't Have to be Alone by @puzzlebean Regressed Max/ Multiple Caregivers. its so soft and sweet and I love it so much!

Ok so! Idk if you also mean sexual age play fics, if you don't then all good and this is for besties who would be interested. Here are some sexual age play recs:

Maxy's Farm Verse by @cuddlebugsirius I love this verse. Its very soft, soooo soft! and so hot! :3

Daddy's Love in All Its Forms by @unremarkableyaks What can I say, it is exactly as it says on the tin! 2731 words of goodness :3

All I Needed For Another Day by Anonymous We love a delicious kinkmeme filllllll

Happy reading Bestie!

Other Besties, please tag and drop links in the comments for any I've missed!!

[silkscream]

CHAPTER 17: FORCE OF NATURE

ੈ✩ gojo satoru x reader

ੈ✩ chapter cw/tags: angst, vaginal sex, rough sex, prone-bone, dubcon

ੈ✩ wc: 6.9k

ੈ✩ a/n: there's your dinner

playlist ✸ read on ao3 ✸ series masterlist

April, 2010

When Suguru fucks you, lately, he’s gentle.

It’s only slightly unlike him. He’s often pent-up from missions, the same way that Satoru is, but the need instilled in him is different. Quieter. You can’t encapsulate it in words — it’s all feeling.

You think that maybe this is the reason that you sometimes favor him. It makes you feel guilty. Beyond all of Satoru’s faults and flaws, you know that he loves you. It all comes out in jagged, messy ways, but he does.

Being with Suguru alone feels… simpler. There is nothing unkempt about him. Every time he needs you, he never begs. It’s often the other way around.

It’s easy for you to be pliable for him with just a few words. Conversations that make you feel larger than life, faint touches that have your skin shivering. He makes you feel like a girl. Desperate and easily enraptured.

While Satoru is loud and talkative, Suguru is reserved and magnetizing. There are moments in between classes when he takes your hand and lies with you in the grass, sharing soft-spoken jokes and murmurs. There’s always something guarding his mind. You can tell. It only makes you want to pry even more, but Suguru is good at deflecting.

You’d be content to share a bed with him and simply stare at his face for hours. Sometimes, you’re with Satoru and you yearn for that. The things that Satoru babbles on about go through one ear and out the other. His energy is always frenetic whereas yours is starting to feel lethargic.

__

Through early April, cherry blossoms begin to fall, coating the grounds of Jujutsu Tech in a soft pink blanket. You’re surrounded in heaven wherever you are.

Satoru is bombarded with solo missions. Meanwhile, your company is kept with Suguru, who sleeps in your bed with you most nights.

At the moment, you’re tangled with him. The moonlight casts a silvery glow across his features. Sometimes, he doesn’t even look human to you. You could swear that he was sent to Earth as a being born from the stars. You feel pathetic and corny even thinking about it.

Despite being wrapped up in you, his eyes are distant, focused on something beyond the confines of the room. Beyond your reach. Aside from the chorus of cicadas outside, silence stretches between you.

“Suguru,” you whisper, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “What are you thinking about?”

He turns to you, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Nothing important," he murmurs, leaning in to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

You're not satisfied with this answer. It's always like this lately - his thoughts locked away behind an impenetrable wall. You sit up, pulling the sheet around you, frustration bubbling up in your chest. The tenderness of moments before evaporates, replaced by a tension that crackles between you like static electricity.

“You’re clearly thinking about something.”

“I’m not,” he answers softly. “Just you. Just thinking about how pretty you are.”

You sigh. “That’s all?”

He gives you a smug grin. “You don’t like being told you’re pretty?”

“I do. Maybe I just want to pick your brain sometimes. Rummage inside of it like a treasure chest.”

He scoffs. “Just because Satoru says everything that’s on his mind doesn’t mean I have to.”

Your face flickers with disappointment at his tone. He probably didn’t mean to sound bitter, but it came out more curt than you expected.

“Don’t you tell him everything on your mind, though?”

“Sometimes, I guess. He’s my best friend.”

Then what am I?

You almost say it out loud.

“Have you talked to him lately?” you ask. “He hasn’t been answering my texts.”

“Shocker,” Suguru replies, a hint of sarcasm laced on his tongue. You frown slightly.

“He always answers.”

“He’s also the strongest,” he snorts. “Can’t always dote on his little wifey, can he?”

“What?”

His smirk falters slightly. “I’m just kidding, baby,” he says softly, kissing your nose. “He’s probably busy or he doesn’t have service.”

“Are you two fighting again?” you blurt out.

Suguru raises a brow in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I just know that sometimes the two of you argue. And you know, the bruises—”

“The ones from sparring or the ones from sex?”

You’re quiet. Both, you want to say. But then it occurs to you that none of it is particularly your business.

It was always difficult to tell where you stood between the two of them. It was as if you were on a constant current, buoying towards rough waters where you didn’t belong.

“I— um. I don’t know. I just noticed things have been… tense.”

He stares at you blankly. “Things are fine.”

“Are they?” You have the urge to ask him a million questions. Was everything fine? Between him and Satoru, you felt like a thinning rope in a tug of war, but always unsure of who was pulling harder.

“You just seem, I don’t know… off lately,” you continue, mumbling. “I can’t help but wonder if something’s bothering you.”

He pauses before speaking again. “There’s just a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?”

He rolls his eyes and it guts you more than it should. “Just a lot. There’s more cursed user activity, more grueling missions. I’ll probably get assigned more soon.”

“You’re doing it again. Deflecting.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re just—” you sigh, “You're always... guarded. I feel like there's a part of you I can't reach.”

Suguru's expression remains impassive, but you notice the slight tightening of his jaw. He sits up as well, his bare chest gleaming in the dim light. "I've given you all of me that I can."

"Don't do that," you say, your voice sharper than you intend. "Don't brush me off."

"I'm not brushing you off. You’re throwing a tantrum because you’re expecting me to spill all my thoughts like you’re my therapist. Or are you feeling insecure and you want some grand romantic gesture from me? There’s nothing to say either way.”

You blink at him rapidly, hurt by his assumptions.

"I’m not expecting anything," you insist, frustration mounting. "I just… I feel like I barely know you sometimes. I just want to know what’s on your mind.”

“Maybe you won’t understand what’s on my mind,” he mutters. “If I can even put it into words. It’s okay to have different minds, you know. Different world views.”

Your face stings as if he’d just insulted you. You stare at the ceiling. What the hell did that mean? Did he keep things from you because he thought you wouldn’t understand? Did he think you were stupid?

“Okay,” you murmur weakly. “Whatever.”

__

March, 2012

The cherry blossoms are in full bloom again. Their delicate petals drift on the breeze through the window. Whispers of a forgotten spring. The change of the seasons whips you in the face— it had been so cold only a month prior.

You’re glad about it, anyway. February was always brutal. The passing of the 3rd had been awkward— unlike last year, neither you nor Satoru acknowledged the day at all, though you had danced around it as if Suguru’s ghost was following you.

You had flinched all day whenever Satoru spoke to you, as if paranoid he could read your mind.

He’d bombarded your thoughts, reminding you of the last birthday you spent with him. His face when he’d looked through the photo album you’d given him. The way he fucked you like he needed you to breathe.

Selfishly, you hope Suguru still has the photos. An awful part of you even hopes he still looks at them. You wish you’d kept some of them for yourself.

It was a stupid idea not to make copies. At the time, you considered making some to keep for yourself and to give to Satoru, but the keepsake you made for Suguru’s birthday felt like a secret just between them. Satoru hadn’t even thought to inquire about the photos you took anyway.

Often, you imagine them scattered on your walls, the boys teasing you as you decorated. Reminiscing your teenage years together, both of them laughing and joking around at the antics you’d been able to capture.

You make a mental note to purchase another disposable camera again. Satoru’s apartment could use more photographs, and the kids would get a kick out of it. You still haven’t moved in with him, to his chagrin, but you enjoy having your own space despite his qualms about it. It’s the one thing you have to yourself, even if he does pay your rent.

You sit alone on the balcony, a cup of lukewarm tea cradled in your hands, and you think of yourself from one year ago.

There’s a bittersweet ache in your chest. You can’t help but think of a certain dark-haired sorcerer that occupied so much of your time at Jujutsu Tech.

The world changed in his absence— the air heavier, charged with an undercurrent of tension that still hasn’t dissipated. In your head, Suguru Geto is a fleeting memory. A passing dream.

But there are moments when you feel the warmth of his body next to yours. The timbre of his voice. The intensity of his eyes when he looked at you as if he was seeing through you.

You shake the thoughts of him away as you dump your tea and make your way to the school. You have the greenhouse to yourself today.

It feels odd to walk around Jujutsu Tech without the presence of two shadows on either side of you. The slight breeze whips your hair and it makes you think of them — how Suguru would often tuck a flyaway back for you while Satoru would tug at your braid.

Stop thinking about it, you chastise yourself. He’s not dead.

Or maybe he was?

You aren’t sure if a year and a half feels too little or too long. There are dreams you have about crossing paths with Suguru— a raven-haired stranger in the night, a fleeting text message from an unknown number. When you overthink like this, it’s difficult to tell how much you really knew him at all. Were you important enough to even get in contact with again?

Something twists in your stomach when you think about the same hypothetical of Satoru. You think that maybe he would contact Satoru again. Maybe.

You weren’t there for the end. You hadn’t seen them fight, could barely imagine the thought of a tear-stricken, twenty-year-old Satoru begging Suguru for anything. Had they lashed out at each other? Had they said anything about you?

You pause in your work, hands hovering over a delicate orchid. Your insecurities flood back unbidden, vivid, and painful.

The nights you spent alone with Suguru replay in your mind. His guarded expression, the palpable tension between you. If only you'd pushed harder, tried to break through those walls. Maybe things would have been different.

But you didn't. And now he's gone.

A shadow falls across you, and for a moment, you think it's just another cloud passing overhead. But then you feel it - a presence that makes the air around you hum with an electric charge.

A sharp prick of pain jolts you from your reverie. You've pricked your finger on a thorn, a bead of blood welling up. You watch it for a moment, mesmerized by the crimson against your skin.

"Careful there," a familiar voice calls out. "Can't have you bleeding all over the plants."

You turn to see Satoru leaning against the greenhouse door, his presence filling the space as it always does.

"Hey," you say softly. "I thought you had a mission today."

He shrugs, sauntering over to you. "I do, but I wanted to stop by first. Thought I'd surprise you."

There's an awkward beat of silence as he stands beside you, both of you pretending to examine the flowers. You can feel the weight of unspoken words hanging between you.

"You were thinking about him again, weren't you?" Satoru's voice is quiet, lacking its usual bravado.

You don't answer immediately, unsure how to navigate this minefield. "I... it's hard not to sometimes," you admit finally. "Especially here."

Satoru nods, his face inscrutable. "Yeah. I get that."

Another silence stretches between you. You desperately want to ask him about that day, about what really happened. But you're afraid of the answer, afraid of reopening wounds that have barely begun to heal.

"Do you ever wonder..." you begin hesitantly, "if things could have been different? If we'd seen the signs earlier, or—”

“Twigs,” Satoru cuts you off sharply.

You flinch at his tone. “Sorry.”

His expression softens. He reaches out, gently taking your hand in his.

"No, I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I just... I can't think about the what-ifs. It's too much."

You nod slowly. Neither of you really talked about Suguru since he left. It was easier to pretend, to go on as if the gaping hole he left behind didn't exist.

"Do you think he's okay?" you whisper, voicing the fear that's been gnawing at you for months.

Satoru's jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. "He's alive. I'd know if he wasn't."

You nod, not quite sure if you believe him or if he even believes himself.

He sighs, pulling you into a tight embrace. You bury your face in his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of him, and for just a moment, you let yourself be comforted by his presence.

But as you stand there in Satoru's arms, surrounded by the falling cherry blossoms, you can't shake the feeling that something is still missing. That maybe it always will be.

April, 2012

You fumble with your keys, exhaustion weighing heavily on your limbs. The thought of going home to your apartment fills you with dread. You’d gotten into a squabble with Satoru again – asked too many questions about Suguru, your heart flooded with nostalgia.

He wanted to be patient with you, but you were childishly bitter.

As you push open the door, something feels... off. The air inside is charged, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Your heart begins to race as you cautiously step inside, eyes scanning the darkened room.

"Twigs."

The voice, smooth as silk and familiar, cuts through the silence. You gasp as you whirl around, eyes wide with disbelief.

There, leaning against the wall with an air of casual elegance, is Suguru Geto.

He looks different, yet achingly the same. His hair is longer now, cascading over his shoulders in inky waves. His eyes, once warm and inviting, now hold a sharpness that sends a shiver down your spine. But his smile, that infuriatingly beautiful smile, is exactly as you remember it.

"Suguru," you breathe, barely able to form the word. "How... why are you here?"

He pushes off the wall, moving towards you with fluid grace. "I missed you," he purrs.

Your mind reels, a thousand questions fighting to be asked. But as he draws closer, all you can focus on is the familiar scent of him - sandalwood and something uniquely Suguru. It makes your head spin.

"You can't be here," you whisper, even as your traitorous body leans towards him. "If Satoru finds out–"

"Satoru won't find out," Suguru interrupts, his voice low and soothing. He reaches out, fingers ghosting along your cheek. "I've made sure of that."

You should pull away. You should tell him to leave. But instead, you find yourself leaning into his touch, eyes fluttering.

"I've thought about you every day," Suguru murmurs, his breath warm against your ear. "Have you thought about me?"

"Yes," you admit, the word escaping before you can stop it. "God, yes."

His lips curve into a smile against your skin. "Show me," he whispers.

And just like that, the floodgates open. You crash into him, your lips meeting in a desperate, hungry kiss. It's like coming home and setting yourself on fire all at once. His hands are everywhere, relearning the curves of your body as you cling to him.

You stumble backward, not breaking the kiss until your back hits the wall. Suguru presses against you, his body solid and warm. You gasp as he trails kisses down your neck, teeth grazing your sensitive skin.

When he coos into your ear, it is not his voice, but Satoru’s.

“Twigs.”

Your eyes open abruptly. Sweat trickles down the nape of your neck as you stare into the space of your dark bedroom. Despite hearing Satoru’s voice, he’s nowhere to be found.

You exhale shakily in embarrassment, at how easily the guilt knocked you out of your slumber. 

With trembling hands, you swing your legs over the side of the bed and let them dangle for a moment, grounding yourself in reality. The remnants of the dream still swirl around in your mind like fractals. You blink against the dimness, peeling away from the haze left by sleep.

The gentle hum of silence fills your apartment as you push yourself up to stand on slightly unsteady legs. Each step you take feels heavier than the last; gravity pulling differently somehow.

You feel… odd. You decide to blame it on the unwanted arousal.

When you enter the small kitchen, you distract yourself with your kettle and scan your surroundings blankly. Pastel tiles — faded yet inviting. Drawings on the fridge from the Fushiguro children.

As you wait for the water to boil, you feel a sense of unease — the very same you felt when encountering a curse, though the after-effects of arousal in your body have your stomach curling inside out. Everything is too quiet and too dark.

You hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights, relying on a small nightlight plugged in below your cabinets. You turn to peer into your living room but there’s nothing there.

As you slowly turn your head back to the kitchen, your breath catches in your throat at the silhouette in front of you. The shadow, darker than the surrounding night, detaches itself from the wall. Your heart leaps into your throat, cursed energy crackling at your fingertips instinctively.

But then the figure steps into the moonlight, and your breath catches.

Suguru.

He looks different – thinner, harder somehow. His hair is longer, tied back loosely, and there's a weariness in his eyes that wasn't there before. But it's undeniably him.

He wears a large, black gojo-kesa with yellow and green details. He looks like a dream come to life. He's changed, but he's still breathtakingly beautiful, like a fallen angel come to Earth.

"I’m sorry," he says softly, his voice carrying the same gentle cadence you remember, but now tinged with something darker. "I didn’t mean to scare you."

You want to run. You want to scream. You want to throw yourself into his arms and beg him to explain why he left, why he turned his back on everything– on you. Instead, you remain frozen, your mug trembling in your grasp.

Suguru takes a step closer, and you can see the details of his face more clearly now. You instinctively take a step back, and something flickers in his eyes – hurt, perhaps, or amusement. It's hard to tell with Suguru.

"May I sit?" he asks, gesturing to the space in front of you where your small kitchen table stands.

You nod mutely, unable to form words. He settles next to you, close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating from his body. You smell the familiar scent of sandalwood and something metallic. Blood?

For a long moment, neither of you speak. You continue to drink in the sight of him. He looks out of place in your small apartment, too large and too otherworldly for the mundane space.

"Why are you here?" you finally ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

"I wanted to see you," he says simply, as if it explains everything. As if he hadn't abandoned everything– abandoned you and Satoru – over a year ago.

You take an involuntary step back, your mind reeling. "But you left. You've been gone for over a year. We thought... I thought..."

"That I was dead?" He smirks, but there's no humor in it. "Not quite. Though I suppose in some ways, the person you knew did die."

You scoff, clutching the countertop behind you.

"Why now?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. "Why come back after all this time?"

“This isn’t the first time, exactly.”

You don’t even want to ask what he means.

You shake your head, trying to clear the fog of confusion and longing that threatens to overwhelm you. "You can't be here. Satoru will come back from his mission—"

Suguru's eyes darken at the mention of Satoru's name. "Ah yes, Satoru," he says, a hint of bitterness in his tone. "Always Satoru."

You feel a pang of guilt but push it aside. "Suguru, I—"

He cuts you off with a gentle shake of his head. "No need to explain.”

A heavy silence falls between you, filled with unspoken words and suppressed emotions. You watch as Suguru's gaze drifts to the falling cherry blossoms against the velvet sky outside the window, his expression unreadable.

You sniff. “I thought you were dead at first,” you whisper. “But you’re stronger than that. Always have been.”

“You were upset.”

“Of course I was! I—” you huff, looking away from him.

He turns to look at you fully now, his gaze intense. “You’re still upset.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“There was nothing you could do.”

You wince slightly. It was the same thing that Satoru told you during the fight you had. The one that overwhelmed you with anger, made you walk away. Heat curls within the delicate sternum of your chest. You’ve always been so fucking naive, haven’t you?

“I— I thought—” you trail off. You thought you could’ve done more.

“Would you have come with me?” he murmurs.

The question hangs in the air between you, heavy with implications. You open your mouth to respond but find you have no answer. Would you have gone with him? Left everything behind?

Satoru’s face flashes in your mind.

Suguru seems to read the conflict on your face. He reaches out, his fingers ghosting along your cheek. The touch is feather-light, but it sends electricity coursing through your body.

"I'm not here to cause trouble," he says, his voice low and soothing. "I just... needed to see you. To make sure you were alright."

You lean into his touch despite yourself, closing your eyes briefly. When you open them again, Suguru's face is closer, his eyes searching yours.

"Are you?" he asks. "Alright?"

The question catches you off guard. Are you alright? You've been going through the motions for months now, smiling when expected, and fulfilling your duties. But alright? You're not sure you even remember what that feels like anymore.

"I'm... managing," you reply honestly.

“I missed you,” he sighs. “You have to believe that.”

You want to believe him. God, how you want to. But the pain of his absence, the confusion and betrayal, it all comes rushing back.

"Do you remember our last spring together?" he asks suddenly, his voice soft and wistful. "How we'd lie in the grass for hours, talking about everything and nothing?"

The memory washes over you, bittersweet and painful. "Of course I do," you whisper.

Suguru turns to you, his eyes intense. "I've thought about those moments every day since I left. About you. About the choices I've made."

Your heart races, torn between longing and fear. "Why did you leave?" you ask, the question that's haunted you for over a year finally escaping your lips.

He's quiet for a moment, considering his words carefully. "I… realized Jujutsu society was deeply flawed. I had to act, even if it meant leaving everything behind."

There's a gravity to his words that sends a chill down your spine. "What do you mean?" you whisper, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Suguru's eyes darken, and for a moment you see a flicker of something dangerous, something that wasn't there before. 

"Our world is rotting from the inside out," he says, his voice low and intense. "The higher-ups, the clans, even Jujutsu Tech– they're all part of a system that perpetuates suffering. I couldn't stand by and watch anymore."

His intensity startles you. This isn't the gentle, thoughtful Suguru you remember. There's an edge to him now, a darkness that both frightens and intrigues you.

You shake your head, struggling to process his words. "But... but we help people. We protect them from curses."

"Do we?" Suguru asks, his tone sharp. "Or do we simply maintain a status quo that allows curses to flourish in the first place? Think about it. The more negative emotions in the world, the more curses are born. And what creates those negative emotions? Inequality, injustice, pain– all things that the Jujutsu world turns a blind eye to."

His words stir something inside you, a doubt you've tried to ignore. You think of the missions you've been on, the people you've helped, but also the ones you couldn't save. The systemic issues seemed to persist no matter how many curses you exorcised.

“I’m— I’m not going to be one of your followers,” you say, your voice cracking. You feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.

“I wasn’t asking you to be,” he replies coolly. His presence makes you heady with the familiarity of his spell.

“Then why are you here?” You try to sound firm but your voice is barely above a whisper. “How did you even know where I lived?”

“You must know me better than that. You think I wouldn’t be able to find you?”

Your heart jumps at the same time your blood runs cold. You’re almost thrilled that he sought you out, but it couldn’t be like this.

He reaches out, his fingers brushing against your cheek, wiping away a tear that you didn’t realize had fallen. The touch is gentle. Familiar. It takes every ounce of willpower not to lean into it and preen into his touch like you always have.

“I did miss you, you know. Don’t think that I didn’t,” he drawls. Suguru’s eyes soften, and for a moment, you see a glimmer of the boy you once knew. “My favorite girl.”

You close your eyes, allowing hot tears to run down your face. The liquid salt cascades in warm streams on your skin.

Suguru's words hang in the air, a mix of bittersweet nostalgia and unspoken longing. You feel the weight of his gaze on you, even with your eyes closed. His thumb brushes another tear from your cheek, the touch achingly tender.

"Twigs," he murmurs, the old nickname rolling off his tongue like honey. "Look at me."

You hesitate, afraid of what you'll see in his eyes, afraid of your own heart's treacherous desires. But you've never been able to resist him, not really. Slowly, you open your eyes, meeting his intense gaze.

He's closer now, close enough that you can see the flecks of gold in his dark irises. His breath ghosts over your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

"I never wanted to hurt you," he says softly, his voice tinged with regret. "You have to know that."

"But you did," you whisper, your voice cracking. "You left. Without a word, without an explanation. You left me and Satoru and everything we'd built together. I–”

I loved you. We loved you.

Suguru's jaw clenches at the mention of Satoru.

"I couldn't stay. Not after everything I learned, everything I saw. It would have been a lie."

You shake your head, anger and hurt rising in your chest. "And this isn't a lie? Sneaking into my apartment in the middle of the night, touching me like nothing has changed?"

"Everything has changed," Suguru counters, his voice taking on a sharper edge. "The world is not what we thought it was. What I thought it was. I couldn't continue to be a part of a system I no longer believed in."

“You could’ve talked to Satoru and I—”

“If Satoru was in my position, it would be easy for him,” he snaps. “He’d find a way to get you to believe in him. You would probably find a reason anyway.”

“That’s not true!” your voice cracks. “He wouldn’t kill every non-sorcerer—”

“But he could, my sweet girl. You’re blinded by him. You’ve always seen him as a god, haven’t you?”

You shake your head desperately, pathetically. His words make you feel smaller than you’ve ever felt.

You feel the sting of Suguru's words, an accusation wrapped in a painful truth. Your relationship with Satoru has always been complex, the unspoken power dynamic frustrating you throughout the years. But to hear Suguru lay it bare, to twist it into something ugly– it feels like a knife to the heart.

“That’s not fair,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “You know there’s more to him than that.”

Suguru's expression hardens, a flicker of something dark and possessive in his eyes. "Satoru will never understand. He's too blinded by his own power, his own sense of righteousness. He can't see the world as it truly is."

You take a step back, shaking your head. "And you can? Suguru, listen to yourself. You wouldn’t—" You choke on the words, unable to say them out loud. "The Suguru I knew would never pick on the weak. He wouldn’t turn his back on—”

Suguru moves forward, closing the distance between you once again. His hand comes up to cup your face, his touch gentle despite the intensity of his gaze. 

"I haven't turned my back on you," he murmurs, his voice low and intimate. "I could never do that. Don't you see? Everything I'm doing, it's for a better world. A world where we can be together without the chains of the Jujutsu society holding us back."

You stare at him, torn between the pull of his words and the screaming warnings in your head. This is wrong. This isn't the Suguru you knew, the gentle, thoughtful boy who held you under the cherry blossoms. But oh, how you want to believe him. How you want to sink into his touch and let the world fall away.

"Suguru..." you breathe, your resolve crumbling.

He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear. 

"Baby," he whispers, his voice a siren's call. "I know you. You’ve gotten stronger. You’re the strongest girl I’ve ever met. I remember that mission in the forest, how you exhausted yourself. You’re so fucking powerful. Don’t you know you could be more than a pawn for the higher-ups? For Satoru?”

“Don’t,” you retort harshly. “I’m not a fucking pawn for anyone and I won’t be one for you.”

Suguru's eyes flash with a mix of surprise and admiration at your fiery response. He leans back slightly, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "There she is," he murmurs, almost to himself. "That fire. That strength. That's the girl I remember."

You blink rapidly, caught off guard by his reaction. You expected anger, frustration, not this strange sense of pride.

He shakes his head, the smile fading. "You're right. I shouldn't have said that about Satoru. Old habits, I suppose." He sighs, running a hand through his dark hair. "I didn't come here to fight with you or to try to sway you to my side. I just wanted to check on you.”

“I’m fine,” you mutter.

Suguru nods, a rueful smile on his lips. "I suppose I should leave before he comes back? He'd probably try to kill me on sight. Not that I'd blame him."

“He wouldn’t. He would never do that,” you say quickly.

The thought sends a chill through you. The idea of Suguru and Satoru, once inseparable, now on opposite sides of a war you don't fully understand.

“I won't ask you to keep this a secret," Suguru says, as if reading your thoughts. "I won't put you in that position. But I needed you to know...no matter what happens, no matter what you might hear about me, my feelings for you have never changed."

Your heart skips a beat. It's the closest he's ever come to a confession, to putting a name to the unspoken thing that's always simmered between you.

"Suguru..." you begin, but he shakes his head, cutting you off.

"Don't," he says softly. "Don't say anything you might regret. I know where your heart lies, even if you don't fully realize it yourself yet."

He takes a step back, and you feel the loss of his proximity like a physical ache. "I should go," he murmurs.

You close your eyes, tears falling down your face. You don’t even sense his departure. He leaves as quietly as he entered.

__

Satoru is often needy when he comes back to you lately. He hopes to see in his bed, anyway, but doubts it considering your most recent argument he had with you.

It wouldn’t be an unusual occurrence if he found you there–  he often returns from his missions and finds you curled up in his bed. Despite your reservations, you’ve been staying in his room more often. After an intense video game session with the kids or a particularly intense night with him, you don’t bother to make the trip to your apartment downstairs.

In Satoru’s apartment, you have extra skincare products (he bought them) and a toothbrush (it had been sitting in the mug on his counter since you came back to Tokyo. Just in case.).

He comes home at an ungodly time. Nothing was open save for the local konbini and twenty-four diner, neither of which he had any options he wanted. There was no onigiri left, so he snacks on matcha pocky, knowing you’d scold him for it if you were awake.

His heart stops when he opens the door to his bedroom and sees you in his bed. But not just because of how beautiful you look in between his sheets, lit by soft hues by the moon.

But because he smells him.

Satoru can sense the cursed energy on your body. It’s like a perfume that doesn’t belong to your skin, yet he can feel it cling to you.

A rabbit hole opens in his brain, splitting into a black hole as he spirals. He’s been here, maybe in this apartment, and he’s touched you.

You twitch, your lips stuck in a cherubic pout. Satoru wants to bite you.

Selfishly, he does. Canine nipping at the junction of your shoulder. You stir and feel his arms tighten around you.

“Satoru?” you mumble, your voice soft and sleep-laced.

“It’s late,” he whispers. “Go back to sleep.”

But you can’t, not with his teeth on your neck. He licks and kisses the back of your neck with an urgent cadence, almost with frustration. He grabs at your covers impatiently. He only rushes like this when something’s bothering him.

He’d woken you from such a heavy sleep that you’re still adjusting to being conscious. He feels as much as a dream as Suguru standing in your kitchen–

You freeze at the memory.

You make a noise of surprise when you feel his hardness prod at you from behind.

"Satoru," you breathe. "What's wrong?"

He doesn't answer, just presses himself closer, his hand sliding beneath your nightshirt. His touch is electric, sending shivers down your spine. But there's an edge to it, a desperation you haven’t felt from him since you were teenagers.

"Nothing," he murmurs against your skin, but his voice is tight. "I just need you."

You turn in his arms, facing him in the moonlight. His blue eyes are dark, stormy with an emotion you can't quite place. Jealousy? Fear?

"Tell me," you insist, cupping his face.

Satoru hesitates, his jaw clenching.

"Shitty mission,” he mutters. You know he’s lying.

“Satoru," you start, but he cuts you off with a bruising kiss. You imagine in combat, fighting curses with the same kind of aggression. The thought sours in your brain but warms the animal of your body. He felt the same as he did when he was nineteen.

His knuckles graze underneath your panties, the silver ring you’d given him cold against the skin of your inner thigh.

I have to get you a matching one now, he’d joked weeks prior. Then we’ll be engaged.

You knew without a doubt he was dead serious.

He bites your shoulder again and pushes you onto your stomach. Reflexively, you push your ass and feel his hard cock between the offending fabric of his boxers. When had he undressed?

“Please,” he breathes into your ear.

You don’t respond. You simply push down your underwear, already drenched from his jagged kisses. 

He grunts as he pushes into you. You wince at the thickness, stinging just barely from the lack of prep. His large hand pushes your shirt up from beneath you to grope at your tits. His other hand snakes in between your legs to rub at your puffy clit.

You gasp at how heavy he feels inside of you. Each snap of his hips feels harsher than the last.

“Couldn’t stop thinking about this,” Satoru mutters, as if to himself. “About fucking you.”

You whimper in response.

“Yeah? You missed my cock inside you?”

“Yes,” you choke out.

“You sure? No one beat me to it, already?” His voice is slightly bitter, so low and buried in your shoulder blade that you almost don’t catch it.

Your eyes widen. You turn slightly to see his blue eyes nearly glowing in the moonlight, brows furrowed as he focuses on his hard thrusts.

“Satoru, I–”

“Wouldn’t blame him. I’d miss this cunt, too, if I was gone for a year and a half.”

“I–I didn’t—”

“Do you think about him when I’m inside you?” 

His face is scarily neutral even though he’s fucking you so rough. Each time he knocks into you, it takes your breath away, your pussy tightening at how impossibly deep he is.

“No,” you whimper.

“It’s okay if you do,” Satoru laughs bitterly. “I think about him too. Both of you.”

You moan softly as he lifts your hips and drives into you deeper.

“You thought I wouldn’t be able to smell him? Feel his residuals all over you?” he grunts. His teeth are bared as he fucks you. Sex-starved. Part animal, part god.

You don’t have it in you to respond. You can’t think of anything when he gets like this, the undulating motion of his cock molding your insides to him and him alone. 

He groans in pleasure, his hand a soft noose around your neck as he lifts you up by the chin. He turns your face over your shoulder so he can kiss you roughly, teeth on your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. It’s all making you dizzy.

Your pussy constricts around him. You think you hear him laugh breathily. He presses down on your lower back at the same time you close your legs. He drives into you, your cunt tight and snug. 

Satoru coaxes a thumb in your mouth and it makes the thread of desire in your gut fray. It’s so close to snapping. You can feel yourself about to cum.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he rasps. “That’s it. Fuck.”

A whine is pulled from your throat when the pressure inside of you blows over. Your pussy constricts around him and his thrusts get rougher. Meaner. 

Your dry throat feels like it’s on fire, your body wrung out with tiredness and ecstasy all at once. He fills you to the brim, finally, cursing as he buries his face into your hair.

For a moment, the dark room is filled with exhales and nothing else. You wince when he pulls out of you. He sits on his knees and soothes a hand on your back underneath your shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

You turn to face him. “I liked it.”

“You know what I mean,” he swallows.

You nod slowly. The two of you stare at each other for what feels like an eternity.

“It wasn’t what you think.” Not a betrayal. Barely a rendezvous.

Satoru exhales, his mouth in a taut line. “Did he hurt you?”

Neither of you could say his name. It had always bothered you that Satoru would never say his name,

“No. You know he wouldn’t.”

“I know.”

You lick your lips nervously. “He said he missed me. And that he came to check on me. I asked him why he left.”

“And?”

“It was probably all the same stuff he told you.”

Satoru’s face stays eerily calm. “Alright.”

“You’re… not upset? Or mad?”

His face softens at how terrified you look. “No, baby. I’m not.”

Without a word, he goes to the bathroom. You lie on your back and stare at the ceiling. You feel sick, suddenly. As if something has shifted the atmosphere entirely.

You’re almost asleep when Satoru returns. He brings a warm towel in between your legs and kisses both of your knees. You keep your eyes closed– you can’t bear to look at his eyes right now.

He’s glad for it. You’re unable to tell that his eyes are a little red, soul-weary.

As he rests beside you, arm draped over your waist, you feel his warm breath on your neck whispering, “I love you.”

[katethetank]

Rating: 18+, minors gtfo Chapter Summary: Eddie meets the family! CW: None? Tell me if I missed anything Tags: Alternate Universe - modern setting, Rock Star Eddie, Counselor Steve, Eddie is gay, Steve is bi, slow burn, eventual smut Word Count:3,308

Chapter 9<<Masterlist>>Chapter 11

Mama Steve: Hey dickheads, does The Dungeon close at 5 on Sunday?

Dustybuns: It always has asshole

Mama Steve: Watch your mouth kid!

Mama Steve: Stick around after close

Mike Fucking Wheeler: You’re not the boss of us

Mad Max: Listen to your mother Michael

🧙Will the Wise🧙: What’s going on Steve?

🏀Lucas🏀: You’ve been MIA man, you alright?

Dustybuns: So you blow us off for weeks and now you’re making demands? Some mom you are 

😇El😇: We’ve missed you Steve!

Mike Fucking Wheeler: We have?

Mama Steve: Thought you assholes might wanna meet my boyfriend, but forget it

Dustybuns: YOIR WHAT

🏀Lucas🏀: I need you to be so serious right now

😇El😇: Steve I’m so happy for you!

Mad Max: Holy shit, you actually locked that down?

Dustybuns: STEVE!! 

🧙Will the Wise🧙: whaaaaaaaaaaattttt

Dustybuns: WHAT US HAPPENITN

Mad Max: I think you broke Dustin

🏀Lucas🏀: Omg are you bringing him to the shop?!

Dustybuns: STEVENNN ABSWRS NOW

🧙Will the Wise🧙: Yeah Dustin is malfunctioning

😇El😇: Do we really get to meet him?

Mad Max: This is hilarious omfg

Dustybuns: STOP IFNORING US!

Mama Steve: Are you assholes gonna behave?

Mad Max: No

😇El😇: Yes!

🧙Will the Wise🧙: The odds are not in your favor 

🏀Lucas🏀: You better not be fucking with us

Dustybuns: [voice message] Steven Angela Harrington I swear to fucking Christ if you’re fucking with us I’m gonna be so pissed! Tell us NOW what the fuck is going on!

Mama Steve: Sunday after the shop closes I’m bringing Eddie to meet you guys 

Mama Steve: I’m gonna regret this aren’t I?

Dustybuns: [voice message] Did I ever tell you you’re my favorite brother?

Mama Steve: You’re an only child

Dustybuns: How dare you

🏀Lucas🏀: We’ll be there!

😇El😇: I can’t wait!

🧙Will the Wise🧙: This is gonna be great

Mad Max: This is gonna be a disaster

Mike Fucking Wheeler: I’ll believe it when I see it 

“Oh my god this is total chaos. I love them already.” Eddie is reading the texts over his shoulder as they blow up his phone. These kids will be the death of him.

“I’m totally coming, I have got to witness this.”

Steve grabs a fry off of Eddie’s plate and throws it at Robin. He told her immediately that he and Eddie had made it official (ok not immediately, there may have been another handjob before he texted her) and she insisted on meeting them at Wayne’s on Steve’s lunch break so she could congratulate/grill them in person.

“Don’t get grouchy with me Dingus, you’re gonna need all the support you can get. Both of you!” She pointedly looks at Eddie.

He points to himself, “Me? Why me?”

Robin straightens up in her seat explaining, “These kids can be great, but they can also be total assholes. And it might look like they just give Steve shit all the time, but they’re fiercely protective of him. He’s seen them all through different rough patches of their lives and he’s been there for them in ways that nobody else has. They might be fans of yours, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to worship you. You bagged their mom, Eddie! You’re going to need someone in your corner to vouch for you.”

Steve turns and takes in Eddie’s profile. He looks nervous. “Robin, stop scaring my boyfriend!”

That actually gets a smile out of him and a kiss on the cheek. “God, I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of hearing you say that word sweetheart.” 

“Good, cuz I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of saying it,” Steve replies.

“Ugh gross, you two are disgustingly cute.”

“Thank you,” Steve says and flips her off.

Eddie turns his attention back to Robin. “So Rob, you’d  have my back with these hellions? Have I proven myself worthy of Steve’s hand?” Under the table he laces their fingers together. Steve gives him a squeeze.

“Oh my god you are such a dork. You might actually fit right in. But yes, you have. I can see how happy you make Steve, and you’re obviously obsessed with him. You've shown that you’re committed to this, you’ve been respectful of his boundaries, Wayne doesn’t seem to think you’re a dick. Just keep making him happy and we won’t have a problem.”

“Nope, just the same old pain in my ass he’s always been.” Jesus, Steve didn’t even notice Wayne approaching the table. He’s gonna need bells for both of the Munson men. “Good kid though, you don’t got nothin’ worry about darlin’. He’s been all moon eyed over his boy here since day one, won’t shut up about him.”

“Wayne, what the hell!”

“Don’t deny it son, you’re a shit liar. Steve,” he says looking down at him, “he ever do you wrong, you come to me, understood?”

Steve has to hold back his glee at Wayne’s protectiveness. “Yes sir, you got it.”

“None of that ‘sir’ shit, you’re practically family now. And ya ain’t paying either! You and Birdie here both.”

Robin looks ecstatic, but Steve feels a pit in his gut. “Wayne, I can’t do tha-“

“Shush! I ain’t gonna fight you on this! Just watch some Sunday games with me when you can and we’ll call it even. Ed here ain’t got no interest and just complains the whole time.”

Steve laughs at that, it sounds absolutely accurate. “You got it Wayne.” Wayne pats his shoulder and heads back to the kitchen.

“Christ, I think he likes you more than he likes me,” Eddie grumbles.

“What can I say? I’m like the son he never had!” Steve beams.

Eddie gasps, dramatically offended. “Rude! That’s rude Steven! Just for that, I’m going to steal all of your children’s favoritism.”

Like they share a brain, Steve and Robin tell him, “Good luck!”

Sunday rolls around faster than Steve anticipated. He won’t say he’s nervous exactly, more anxious of how the kids are going to act around Eddie. He just hopes they aren’t total buttheads. He pulls up to Wayne’s house and Eddie is sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette. He doesn’t smoke often, and Steve has a feeling Eddie is more nervous about this than he thought.

He gets out of the car and walks up to the porch, offering Eddie a reassuring smile. “Hey baby. You ok?”

Eddie nods his head and puts out the cigarette in an old coffee can. “Yeah I think so. Sorry, just a little anxious about this. Didn’t wanna smell like an ashtray, but I needed something to level me out a bit.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, it’s ok, I don’t mind. You ready to go?” Eddie nods again, looking anything but ready. “Kiss first?” Steve asks.

That gets a smile out of him. “You don’t mind smokey kisses, sweetheart?”

“No. Not from you. C’mere.”

Eddie steps off the porch and puts his hands on Steve’s hips. It always makes him feel small. He cups Eddie’s face and smiles into the kiss. He can already feel him relaxing.

“Mmm, I think I needed that more than the cigarette. Ok, now I’m ready.”

They climb into the car and Steve pairs Eddie’s phone, offering him DJ privileges this time. Driving guitars pump through the speakers as they make their way out of the neighborhood. Eddie turns the volume down after a couple minutes and turns to Steve. “I don’t know how to ask this without sounding like a dick, so I’m just gonna ask. How does a counselor at a community center afford a BMW? God, there’s no polite way to ask that, is there? I’m sorry, never mind, forget I said anything!”

“It’s ok Eds! You’re not a dick. I definitely don’t make a fortune working there, but it’s whatever. You know how I said I was a trust fund kid? Yeah. I had a trust fund. My grandparents set it up when I was little, and even though my parents basically disowned me, they couldn’t touch it. I got access to it when I was 25 and got myself a car. The rest was better spent.”

Ah fuck. He realizes he just opened a can of worms. He hasn’t told Eddie about this yet because to him it doesn’t really matter. But people are weird about money.

“Yeah, you treat yourself to a trip around Europe or something?” He laughs. Steve pauses for a moment and Eddie makes a questioning face.

“No. I uh…I gave it to the kids so they could open The Dungeon.”

Eddie just blinks at him for a minute.

“Stevie. Are you serious?”

“I know! I know it was probably stupid, but they had this dream and didn’t know how they were gonna get it started, and I didn't really have much use for all that money, plus the guilt I had even taking it meant I couldn’t even really enjoy it, so I figured that was the best thing I could do with it.”

“Pull over.”

Steve glances over at Eddie, bewildered. “What?!”

“I said pull over.”

Steve pulls the car to the side of the road and the second he has it in park, Eddie is on him. He’s so surprised that he doesn’t even kiss him back for a second. Steve pulls back to ask, “What is happening right now?”

“Steven Rebecca Harrington-“

“Not you too!”

“-You are the most selfless,” he gets a kiss to his cheek, “caring,” his forehead, “generous,” his nose, “man I have ever met!” Eddie plants a firm and passion kiss to his lips.

Eddie breaks the kiss and holds Steve’s face in his hands. “You gave all that up so you could help the people you love. You’re incredible, sweetheart, do you know that? You need to know that. Those kids better fucking know that! I am completely, unbelievably in awe of you. How the fuck did I get lucky enough to call you mine?”

Steve never thought he’d be crying on the side of the road in the arms of a rock star, but here he is. Eddie embracing him while tears slip down his cheeks. “I’m the lucky one,” he whispers. It’s true. He’s never felt so appreciated or adored or seen. 

They take a few minutes for Steve to calm down and then they’re back on their way to The Dungeon. They park and get out, and Steve takes Eddie’s hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “You ready for this?”

“Nope! C’mon, let’s get in there!”

Steve guides him through the front door and he’s struck with the memory of their first meeting. The last time they were in here together they were strangers. Now Eddie’s his boyfriend. Who’s about to meet…oh fuck, the whole family! Not only are the kids and Robin here, with eager looks on their faces, but Hop and Joyce are here too.

“Uh. Hey everybody. This is Eddie!”

The silence lasts about 1.8 seconds.

“Jesus it’s about fucking time!”

“Finally!”

“He’s taller than I thought.”

“This is crazy.”

“Oh he’s handsome!”

“Looks like trouble.”

“Hi Eddie!”

“Are you our new dad?”

They all rush towards them, Dustin leading the charge, sticking his hand out to Eddie and introducing himself, “Dustin Henderson, Steve’s honorary brother!” It’s the most aggressive handshake Steve’s ever seen. 

Max stands back with a smirk and her arms crossed. El gives Eddie a hug because she’s a fucking angel. Lucas shakes his hand like an actual human. Will gives him a shy finger wave. Mike is standing nearby, scowling at Steve. 

Steve looks at him and asks, “You believe me now, asshole?”

Mike steps closer and asks, way too loudly, “Have you been crying?” Steve wants to smack him. Then Mike turns to Eddie with fire in his eyes like he’s never seen. “What did you do?!”

Eddie looks like he’s ready to flee. “N-nothing! I swear! Stevie?!”

Steve’s flabbers are gasted, he’s never seen Mike get so definitive like this. At least not towards him. “Mike, I’m fine!” He doesn’t look like he believes it. “Seriously, I’m ok. Just had a moment before we got here. Eddie didn’t do anything, I swear.”

Mike shrinks back only slightly and mutters, “He better not have.” What the fuck got into this kid?! 

Joyce shoves them all aside and heads right for Steve, throwing her arms around his waist. He hugs her back and it’s just one of those things that makes his heart smile. “Steve sweetie, it’s been too long! I can’t believe I had to hear about your new beau from the kids!”

Steve gives her a squeeze before letting go. “Sorry mom. I’m glad you guys are here though. Missed you.”

“We missed you too, baby. Now! Introduce us properly to your boy here!”

Steve smiles at Eddie, who already has a fond look on his face as he’s taken in their interaction. “Eddie, this is my mom Joyce. Well, not actual mom, but you know.”

Eddie takes her hand, kissing the back of it like some Disney prince. “It’s a pleasure to meet you ma’am. Steve has spoken very highly of you!”

Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen Joyce blush. He's definitely seen that look of annoyance on Hop’s face though. “Oh, honey, you don’t have to be so formal. Just Joyce is fine.” She looks back and Steve and mouths so handsome! Steve just wiggles his eyebrows back.

Hop steps in and grabs Eddie’s hand with one of those bear paws of his. “Jim. You can call me Chief Hopper.”

“Dad, Jesus,” Steve sighs.

“Hop, enough!” Joyce looks up at Eddie with her can you believe this? face. “He’s harmless, ignore him.”

Hop still hasn’t let go of Eddie’s hand. Eddie looks mildly terrified. ”It’s nice to finally meet you sir. I’m glad to know that Steve has had someone like you in his corner.”

Well fuck. He’s never seen Hop fold so quickly. He’s actually got a ghost of a smile on his face. Hop relents, letting go of Eddie’s hand and taking a step back. Why is this such a turn on?! Eddie turns to look at him and immediately clocks the desire that must be apparent on Steve’s face. He leans and whispers directly in his ear, “Save it for later baby.” Yeah that’s not helping.

They finally sit down at one of the big wood tables where Robin has been observing the entire interaction with glee. Dustin plants himself on Eddie’s other side, no doubt ready to grill him about something nerdy. The rest of the kids are scattered around the space, and Will comes up to ask, “Did you guys want a coffee? We still have everything up and running.”

Eddie smiles and tells him, “That would be great actually! Thanks…Will, right?” Will nods eagerly. “Just a coffee with cream and sugar would be awesome. Thanks man.” 

Will turns to Steve. “You want your drink, Steve?”

“Yeah, thanks bud.” Will nods and heads behind the counter to get started.

Eddie quirks an eyebrow. “Your drink?”

“Yeah,” Steve replies. “The Paladin? They made a drink for me. It’s a vanilla latte with like, caramel and shit. You should try it!”

Eddie just stares for a moment. “And it’s called The Paladin?”

What is Steve missing here? “Uh…yeah? Something from their nerd game or whatever. I never got into it.”

Eddie shakes his head and says under his breath, “Of course it is.” He turns completely to fully face Steve. “Sweetheart, do you know what a Paladin is?”

Steve furrows his brows. “It’s like a fighter guy or something, right?”

Eddie scoffs. “A fighter guy. It’s more than that honey. Paladins are holy knights that are sworn to fight evil and uphold justice. Divine spellcasters who train in combat, and wield the power to heal and protect. They’re self-sufficient, and they serve as defenders of the party. So no, it’s not just a fighter Steve. It’s a position of honor.”

Steve can’t swallow the lump in his throat. He looks away from Eddie to try and ground himself again, but that’s when he notices everyone has gone quiet. As he takes in the faces around him, his found family, his people…he sees it for the first time. How much they love him, how they see him. Their champion, their protector, their knight. 

He never thought he’d be crying in a coffee shop with his family and his boyfriend around him. But here he is. Robin grabs his hand from across the table. Eddie’s hand wraps around the back of his neck as he kisses his forehead. Mike gives him the softest look he's ever seen. Lucas rubs his back and Will sets down their drinks with a smile and a handful of extra napkins. Dustin, speaking in a much more subdued voice says, “We thought you knew, Steve.”

He dabs his eye with a napkin and laughs through a sob. “Clearly I didn’t! Fuck! I uh…I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t have to say anything, baby.” Eddie whispers to him. “Just have to accept it.”

Careless of his family around him, Steve leans in and kisses his boyfriend, hoping it can communicate all of his appreciation. The room erupts in cheers and complaints.

“Aww, they’re so sweet!”

“Sweet my ass”

“Ew, get a room!”

“Ugh, that’s my mom!”

“Get it Steve!”

Eddie caresses his cheek and asks, “You ok Stevie?”

“Yeah,” Steve says. “Very ok.”

The rest of the night goes smoothly without any more emotional breakdowns thank god. Dustin talks Eddie’s ear off about D&D - Steve, did you know Eddie used to run a D&D club in high school? It was called Hellfire right?! We do campaigns here once a month Eddie, you should come! Will is our DM but if you want you could do it sometime! He loves the kid, but yikes.

If Eddie hadn’t already won everyone over with his charm, he’s definitely doing it with food. As the night goes on, he suggests having pizza delivered. Steve tries to offer to pay for it, but Eddie isn’t having it. “Sweetheart, no. Let me do this. You take care of them all the time, let me have a turn.”

Everyone gets stuffed with pizza, breadsticks, and somehow Eddie gets cupcakes delivered. He even promises Dustin that he’ll DM for them the next time they play. As they’re saying goodbyes Mike pulls Steve aside. “Look, I know I can be asshole sometimes-“

“Sometimes?!”

“Ok, a lot! But you’ve always been there for us. You've looked out for us for years, helped us get all this off the ground. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. So. I just wanna make sure you’re…happy or whatever.”

Steve didn’t have Mike warming his heart on his bingo card. “Thanks for that, kid. And I am. Eddie’s amazing. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. Maybe ever!”

Mike nods and avoids eye contact. “Good! Good, I’m glad. I wanna like him. He seems cool. If he hurts you though, just wanna let you know, I’ve got your back.”

Steve chuckles, “Don’t think we’ll have to worry about that, but thanks man. I appreciate it.” They share a quick bro hug, complete with back slaps and Mike scurries away to be closer to El.

Robin steps up to his side and throws her arm around his shoulders. “Damn, Dingus. I didn’t think it would go this well! Your man’s little speech about how amazing you are sure won everyone over quickly. Didn’t see that happening.”

Steve wraps his arm around his best friend and smiles as he watches Eddie say goodbyes to everyone. Hugging Joyce and the girls (and Dustin), exchanging a much more amicable handshake with Hop, excitedly making plans to play the nerd game with the boys. 

“Yeah. Yeah, he did great.”

Chapter 9<<Masterlist>>Chapter 11

*********************************************

Taglist is open!

@annachronisme @mrsjellymunson @kozuuji

[ohmystaxk]

For there is beauty | Chapter Three: We listen, we don't judge

[MASTERLIST] | [CHAPTER 2] | [NEXT] (01/17/25)

Tags/Warnings: Awkward interactions, Reader is mean to Jayce, Viktor has a staring problem, Tension (wink wink), Making out, Conflictive feelings.

Summary: Jayce and you had been friends for most of each other's lives. So, why did he need to make things so complicated?

You decide to go to the Academy to clear your head. That's when you bump into a familiar face.

Fanfic's Playlist: spotify yt music apple music

Tracklist:

Promise by Laufey, Say Yes to Heaven by Lana Del Rey, You Right by Doja Cat, No One Noticed by The Marías

A sinkhole. A sinkhole would be nice right now. You thought as you were seated across from Jayce at your dining table. If only your mom had decided to stay for just a minute longer, the two of you would not have to silently finish your breakfast. You took another bite from your food, your eyes looking up every once in a while, attempting to catch Jayce’s attention. He did not look up a single time to your disappointment or your benefit.

You quietly picked up your plate and stood up to go wash it. It was a weird thing, to be able to tell whenever Jayce stared your way. Yes, it had been a terrible predicament for the both of you. But it wasn’t like you never saw him with his shirt off whenever he had just woken up when you went to his apartment. Or like the time he had to take a shower at your place because his water line was been repaired. He casually walked out fresh out of the shower with his pants on, water droplets fell down his chest as he dried his hair with a towel.

It was similar. At least you had a bit of fabric covering you.

“Can I?” His voice made you jump in place. You looked to your left to find him standing right there, empty plate in one hand, while the mug was in the other.

He was still avoiding your eyes. How is you seeing me, any different than me seeing you? You placed the clean plate on the drying rack and took a step back as you pointed at the spot you were a second ago.

“Go ahead.” Your jaw was tight as you turned around and started heading back to your room.

When you came back with your bag, Jayce was already putting back his dishes on the rack and drying his hands on the towel. You stood there for a second and watched him as he turned around. His eyes landed on yours before he looked away. You felt your heart beating fast, and your jaw tightened as you let out a huff. Without a single word, you walked out of your parents' house. Not long after, Jayce shut the front door and followed right behind you.

The whole walk to the Academy district was in pure silence between the two of you. Even with the awkward atmosphere, Jayce still walked right next to you, his shoulder occasionally brushed yours. But it wasn’t until the two of you made it to the corner street of the workshop, that you stood still. He, on the other hand, stopped once he was closer to the building entrance and turned around to look for you. His eyes landed on yours, but he looked away once again.

“Are you coming?” He asked, his hand went to the back of his head and scratched it.

Your hands tightened on the strap of your bag. If the two of you stayed alone at the workshop, you knew there would be awkwardness lingering there.

“No. I will go to the Academy. I will see you-.” You saw him frown, his eyes dropped to your hands and you gripped your bag tighter. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“I’m going with-.” He took a step towards you, but you took two back.

“No, you are not.” Your voice came out harsher than you intended. He stopped, his eyes widened, and you could see the hurt on his features. “I-I just need time to work on this, the workshop is starting to drive me insane.”

“I’m sorry-.” He started, but you were quick to shake your head.

“Not right now…I will see you tomorrow, Jayce.” You took three more steps back before you turned around and headed to the Academy.

You took a deep breath, your heart pounded loudly in your ears the further you walked away from him. You had not turned around, but if you were to bet, you were sure he just stood there watching you leave.

The Academy was not too far from the workshop—it was five streets away. You walked around the grounds until you were able to get inside. Your body forced you to keep walking while your mind replayed the look in Jayce’s eyes—how taken aback he looked by your sudden demeanor. Then there was the unexplainable anger you felt towards him. It had already been a bad situation for the both of you, but he just had to make it worse.

“Miss, a bit late, are we not?” Someone said to you. You blinked your thoughts away.

As you looked around, you realized you had entered the middle of Professor Heimendinger’s lecture. The Professor smiled at you from the podium, the harsh light directed at him offered a comfortable shadow for your heated face.

“I-I’m terribly sorry, Professor. I must-.” You tried to excuse yourself, but he was quick, pointing his arm towards the rows.

“Now, now. Knowledge doesn’t wait.” You blinked at him, your eyes darting around the room, only to be met with those amber eyes, a frown on his face as he was seated on the other side of the podium, a hand resting on his cane. “Take a seat now, you are always welcome back.”

You offered the Professor a tight smile as you tried to look for an empty seat. You walked up the stairs of the rows and sat on the closest one. Heimendinger continued with the lecture, his voice echoing as he explained theories you had already listened to last summer. Quietly, you pulled out your notebook and pencil. You tried your best to use this time to work on your research. As you continued to tune in and out of the lecture, your cheek rested against your hand as you started writing down notes.

After what could have been thirty minutes or so, your fingers played with your hair. Your hand started to hurt from the nonstop writing, and you let out a silent sigh. Your eyes suddenly met Viktor’s gaze, your heart leaped in your chest. He was resting his chin on his cane, his eyes staring your way through the dark of the room. His eyes shone just like you remembered they had all those months ago.

On instinct, you were tempted to look behind you, to follow his eyesight. Instead, you leaned forward on your chair, head tilted to the side as you raised an eyebrow at him. It made him realize you were staring at him as well, his grip on the cane failed him and his chin slipped off, causing him to lean forward. Immediately he fixed his posture, he leaned back on his chair. You felt a laugh trying to make its way out, but you smiled instead, bringing the hand against your cheek to cover your mouth as you looked away for a second, meeting his eyes again. And it was like he had done the same, a simple smile appearing on his lips as he set his cane to rest between his legs.

You were the first one to look away, your hand started to scribble on your notebook. Your eyes focused on nothing at all, looking up every once in a while towards his direction. Even with the distance between the two of you, you could admit he was good-looking. The way his hair was neat, yet messy made it look soft. His moles were placed in spots that made the voice in the back of your mind whisper at you to kiss them. His jaw was sharp and nicely defined. His lips were thin, but they had some plumpness to them. His cheekbones, and Gods did you like them?

Your stomach fluttered as his eyes met yours. It was those eyes that made your face heat up as he raised an eyebrow your way, tilting his head with a questioning look, mirroring your action from when you caught him staring. Your hand let go of your pencil, slowly finding its way to the edge of the small table and gripping the corner as you kept your eyes locked on him.

“This concludes today’s lesson!” The sudden voice of the Professor made your body go completely rigid, your eyes widened as you remembered where you were.

The students started picking up their things, some were already walking out of the room. You closed your notebook and put it inside your bag. As you walked down the steps and was making your way toward the door, the Professor called your name, making you stop in your tracks as you looked his way.

“What a lovely surprise is to see you.” He smiled, his furr rising upwards. “How are things going in the Astrophysics department? Not too complex, I hope.”

“It is nice seeing you as well. And not too much, just pushing through the lessons.” You smiled at him. But you looked up when you noticed Viktor walking towards the two of you, his cane bringing the attention of the Professor.

“Well, of course. I don’t believe I have personally introduced you to my assistant. This is Viktor, a wonderful inventor.”

You were going to explain how you already knew him, but the man cleared his throat.

“You have introduced us before, Professor,” Viktor said, and you frowned. Has he?

“Have I? Oh, please forgive my poor memory.” Heimendinger shook his head as he looked at the two of you. “How is the young Mr. Talis?”

“He is well, working hard on his studies.” You gave him a tight smile.

“Such a hard worker that one is. I believe that with you working by his side he will succeed even more, what a wonderful thing young love can truly be.” At that, you shook your head as you let out a laugh. Viktor frowned as he looked your way.

“You are mistaken, Professor! J-Jayce is not my boyfriend, we are not together.” You explained as he widened his eyes in surprise.

“Oh forgive me, I just thought so since the two of you are so very close.” You looked at Viktor, he looked away to fix the hold of his cane, putting his weight on it. “Well, if you are interested. I believe you and Viktor could be a wonderful pair!”

The both of you looked at each other in surprise. You could see the way Viktor’s face turned red as he coughed. You opened and closed your mouth as you looked between them.

“I-.”

“Now, I am to attend a meeting. I shall take my leave! Take care of yourself, Miss.” The Professor made his way out of the room, not leaving room to talk about his suggestion.

The door closed behind him, and the two of you were now left alone in the room.

“Please, ignore him.” Viktor was the first to break the silence, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t worry about it.” Your hand played with the little charm hanging from your bag. “Just caught me off guard.” A nervous laugh escaped you.

“You and me both.” He sighed, the hand on his nose moving up to run his fingers through his hair. “I knew him to be bold, just not this much.”

“If you live for this long, you must find some entertainment. And I guess you became his.” You watched him roll his eyes with a smile.

“I would prefer it if I were not.” The bright light hit Viktor’s face, casting a shadow on his left side. “How is your research going?”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, “Don’t even get me started.” You leaned on the small desk next to the podium, crossing your arms as you looked at him. “I’ve been stuck with it for the past three months, the deadline is next month, and I still need to rework my draft but it is impossible.”

Viktor frowned, he shifted his weight on the cane while he took a few steps closer.

“I am no Astrophysist, but I could lend you a hand.” You looked up at him through your lashes, he stood in front of you, blocking the harsh light. “Could even give you some much-needed criticism. If you are up for it, of course.”

He tilted his head, a grin on his lips as your hands gripped the edge of the desk. Viktor stood close to you, much closer than he had back at the library.

“Much needed? Someone thinks too highly of themselves.” You crossed your arms. You could not help the smile that appeared on your lips as you heard him laugh.

“Well, I am the Deans assistant after all…But I am not one for ego.” Viktor’s eyes shone as he spoke. You were starting to realize that you liked his voice, the raspiness in the accent, and the way it was soft on some syllables.

“Could’ve fooled me, Viktor.” You uncrossed your arms and reached for your bag to pull out your notes. “But, if you could take a look at the mess I have written down, I will owe you one.”

You presented your notes to him, some papers were folded at the ends from being shoved into your bag throughout the months. Viktor immediately reached for them. His hand was slim, his fingers long and you could see a few small scars near his knuckles.

“No need for that.” He walked away from you, rounding the small desk to sit down.

“Trust me, you will want one after reading that.” You followed him, rounded the table, and hopped on the desk, sitting down beside him.

“How bad could it be?” You noticed him look at your thighs before he glanced up with a raised eyebrow.

“Umm, pretty bad.” You kicked your legs, gripping the edge of the table with your hands. “So, what exactly is it that you do as an assistant? I know you help grade papers and help run projects. Do you help with anything outside of the Academy?”

“If you are asking if I assist with anything counsel-related, then no. Only with the Academy.” He started reading, laser-focused as he answered you.

“But you have run into the Kirammans before, at least from what Cait told me.”

“Caitlyn Kiramman, you mean? You know her?” He frowned.

“Yes, she is a friend of Jayce and me. She tends to tag along with us at the workshop or whenever we come to the Academy.” You explained, resting your head against your shoulder as you watched him.

“You asked about me?” He looked up, a grin on his lips as he raised an eyebrow.

“N-no, she just told me she knew you.”

“She just casually mentioned me, then?” Viktor smiled as you looked away.

“Well, no, but I technically did not ask her about you.”

“So you spoke about me.” At that, you rolled your eyes. And maybe I told her you were my boyfriend, but that is beside the point.

“Are you going to read or not?” You heard him laugh, shaking his head.

Although you knew nothing about Viktor, you couldn’t help but realize you liked these little moments, he was not afraid to tease you and you were quick to do so as well. It felt like you and Viktor had already known each other, there was not a moment you felt awkward when talking to him. Even just sitting in silence felt comfortable. As you studied his features, you wondered how you didn’t try to befriend him before. You were always curious about him, you had hoped once before to get a chance to talk to him but never acted on it. You had known of Viktor for the past three years and you always saw him around the Academy.

“Tell me something about you. And if you want, I can tell you about me.” You gripped the edge of the table harder, feeling your heart rate quicken. Viktor seemed to think about it, flipping to the next page of your notes.

“I don’t like coffee, I prefer tea.” He continued his reading, you simply stared at him.

“I’m… surprised.” You tried to think of something to tell him, out of anything he could have said, he chose something easy. “I’m afraid of heights.”

“Heights?” He chuckled, but you were quick to point a finger at him.

“We listen, we don’t judge, V.” He raised his hand in apology. “Your turn.”

“When I was young, I got really into…rocks.” Viktor cringed as he said that, but you smiled instead.

“I used to collect leaves. When my parents and I came to Piltover, I became fascinated by them. I would always get the ones that fell from trees or bushes and I would preserve them. I still have a book full of them.”

“You’re not from Piltover?” He asked with wide eyes. You felt your heart suddenly beat heavily, your palms growing sweaty.

“Um, no. I’m from Zaun.” You confessed to him. It had been a while since you had to explain to someone where you were from. The reactions were always mixed.

“That makes two of us.” Viktor looked up at you, a genuine smile on his lips. You let out a shaky breath as you smiled back at him. 

“You are? Oh, well, yes, I guess that does make two of us.” You crossed your legs, resting your right arm across your lap. “Your turn.”

“Pretty sure I just said mine.” He retorted, going back to reading.

“Fine…do you remember last semester someone broke one of the glass display cases on the second floor by the west wing?” You winced. Viktor slowly looked up, utter shock on his face. “Okay, it wasn’t me! I might have playfully shoved Jayce, and he might have accidentally bumped into the stand, and…”

“You two broke it?” Viktor pinched the bridge of his nose. Quickly you raised your hands in defense.

“It not our fault they didn’t have the stand secure to the floor! The wind could’ve knocked it down.”

“Unbelievable.” He said before he laughed. “How hard did you shove him?”

“Not hard, he just happened to miss his footing and hit the thing, it immediately tipped to the side and it just fell.”

“Well, I guess the good thing was that they decided to fix them to the floor afterward.” At that, you nodded.

Viktor continued reading, there was no noise in the room except for the quiet breathing from the two of you. The light bathed his features, you remembered the way he stared at you from the other side of the room during the lecture, his gaze heavy and unnerving. The truth was, Viktor was attractive. You had heard girls and guys whispering amongst each other, smiling bashfully whenever Viktor happened to walk past.

You had not noticed before how much you also stole glances at the man, how often your eyes connected. He told you in the library that he thought you looked familiar, only to remember exactly where you sat the entire year. He had to have known your name, he probably helped grade your papers. Viktor had to be familiar with your writing, so he ‘joked’ about you needing some criticism. It occurred to you then that Viktor knew you, he had to. The library was a coincidence, but he chose to talk to you when he could have let you leave. Viktor wanted to get to know you.

“Viktor,” Your voice came out so soft, close to a whisper. Your stomach burned when he looked at you through his lashes.

“Yes?” He had a soft frown, you liked his eyes.

“Your turn.” You let out with a breath, you could feel your fingertips tingle.

“Right, of course.” You did not miss the way his eyes glanced at your legs once again. “I like the color orange.”

You were fighting the urge to run your hands through his hair, you bet it felt soft.

“You knew exactly where I sat, even when you said ‘I looked familiar’.” Viktor’s jaw tensed, his throat bobbed, holding his gaze on you. “You also didn’t answer my question when I asked you if you thought I was charming back at the library, that hurt my feelings, V.”

“I didn’t mean to.” He answered too quickly, leaning forward just a bit, but stopping himself. “I think you are. Otherwise, we would not be here.”

“Good,” You grinned, and his eyes shifted back to your thighs.

You had not realized your skirt revealed more skin when you crossed your legs. You leaned back, pushing your chest out just a bit, your hands flat on the table as you tilted your head to the side, a smile forming on your lips.

“Is the reading going smoothly?” You watched Viktor look away to focus on the notes.

“Y-yes, your writing is rather clear to read through. You get your points across.” He cleared his throat, flipping to the next paper.

“I’m glad you think so. “ You leaned your weight on your left arm, making you be in Viktor’s view. “Are you sure you don’t want that favor?”

He looked up, his eyes wide, his pupils dilated when you leaned forward just a bit.

“Favor?” You could see his ears turn a pretty shade of red.

“I guess I need to be more direct then.” You leaned forward. “Are you single, Viktor?”

You could see the gears turning in his head, his eyes scanning your features as you stared back earnestly at him.

“Y-yes, I am…why?” He frowned, his eyes falling on your lips.

“I think you are pretty, Viktor. And I think you have an awful staring problem, not that I’m complaining. So, if you are okay with it, and only if you are.” You took the notes from his hand, the papers slipping away without any restraint. You placed them on the table. “I would want to repay you for helping me.”

“Repay me? How?” His eyes widened even more when you hopped off the desk, now standing beside him.

You leaned down, bending over to be eye-to-eye with him.

“A kiss, for starters.” You smiled gently. “Would that be okay?”

“I…Yes.” There was a blush on his cheeks, eyes jumping from your lips to your eyes.

You slowly leaned forward, giving him room if he wanted to change his mind. Your nose brushed his, and you gasped when he suddenly kissed you. There was a warmth that went through your entire body. Goosebumps covered your skin as you kissed him back, deepening the kiss. Your hands went to his cheeks. His skin was soft, and you felt a bit of stubble.

His hand went to your hips, pulling you in until you had no other choice but to sit on his lap. One of your hands slowly went to the back of his neck, running your fingers through his hair, it was soft. You pulled back to take a breath but immediately kissed him again, you felt your heart pounding in your ears as a hand squeezed your hips and the other rested on your thigh, he dug his fingers into the exposed flesh.

You pulled his hair, forcing his head to bend backward as you started kissing his moles. The hand on your thigh gripped it harder.

“You are so pretty, Viktor.” You whispered as you kissed his chin and his jaw.

“I s-should be the one saying that.” He struggled, and you opened your eyes to look at him. His eyebrows were close together, his mouth agape as he chased for some air. “It’s hard to keep my eyes off of you.”

“I bet it is.” You teased, kissing him again. The hand on your hip came to cradle your left cheek, his fingertips wrapping around a strand of hair.

“Someone might come.” He pulled away, finally opening his eyes. His pupils were blown wide, making his eyes look darker. His eyelids were heavy as he tried to look into your eyes.

“Yeah,”  You started pulling away. “Maybe.” But Viktor was quick to pull you in once more, kissing you with hunger. A moan escaped you and you gripped his hair tighter, your arms wrapped around his neck.

The hand on your thigh slowly started traveling up, squeezing the flesh as it did. You then let go, pulling away as you watched him chase your lips.

“As much as I want to continue this, we c-can’t, not here.” You tried to get some air.

“You’re right.” Viktor leaned forward, and he hid his face in the crook of your neck, breathing heavily. “Wait, continue this?” He murmured against your neck.

“Yes, y-you could come to my place.” You took in a deep breath, your mind was all over the place, hard to focus. 

Suddenly you bit your lip when Viktor started kissing your neck, his hands greedily feeling your body. Unconsciously your hips started moving, and you yelped when Viktor bit the flesh, not hard but it came as more of a warning.

“Fuck, we need to stop before-.”

“Before what?” He asked with feigned innocence in his voice.

“You know damn well what.” You pulled him by his hair, and oh did you wish you could capture the look on his face. His eyelids were heavy, panting, his face a deep red as well as his lips, his hair a mess. “You look so pretty like this, V.”

“How far away is your place?” He tried to catch his breath, his whole chest going up and down.

“Five, maybe six streets from here.” You let go of his hair, your hand going down to caress his cheek. “But I need to do something first, I will give you the address.” You leaned down to kiss his cheek.

You stood up, your legs a bit weak, you grabbed your notes and started putting everything back in your bag. You found a notebook on the table, you flipped to the last page and wrote down your address, even putting down your phone line and ‘Come over in an hour or so. Don’t make me wait, V’. Behind you, Viktor still tried to catch his breath. You ripped the paper and left it on the table, clear for him to see.

You turned around, giving him another kiss on his cheek.

“I must go now. Calm down, and get some water.” And with that, you walked out of the room without turning around, not knowing if you could leave if you were to see in which state he was.

The entire walk to your apartment you felt as if you were walking on clouds, a bright stupid smile on your face the whole way, replaying the moment over and over again. You felt giddy like you were fifteen again. You went up the stairs to your floor with a small bounce on each step. You opened the door to your apartment, not even realizing the door was unlocked, when you stepped in you let your bag drop on the floor, not even noticing the jacket hanging on the back of one of your kitchen chairs. You started removing your vest, leaving it on the kitchen counter. You didn't even notice when someone stood up from your small couch, walking towards you. You pulled your shirt from under the waist of your skirt, undoing the buttons, your fingers were numb from the pure adrenaline you felt.

You turned around, only to find Jayce standing in the middle of your living room. You jumped, letting out a scream of pure shock.

“What the fuck, Jayce!?” You gripped your shirt, your heart beating fast as you saw him. “What are you doing here? How did you even get in-.”

Before you could even finish your question, he was suddenly hugging you tightly. His height causes your body to fit into his, one arm wrapped around your waist, the other over your shoulders. Maybe it was your previous exciting experience with Viktor that had your body react out of instinct, but you felt that warmth spread all over you. But the way his arms wrapped too nicely against your body, pulling you so close to his firm chest, and how he buried his nose against your hair as he let out a breath. It made your knees feel weak.

“I’m sorry.” His voice rumbled through his chest, you didn’t know why but he was holding you like he would never get the chance to do so again. “I’m sorry.”

Then you felt fingers on the back of your head, that sudden pain you felt from that nightmare. His voice was the same, but the sentiment was different like he had done something terrible. Then the pain traveled to your chest, and you gripped Jayce’s waist, something to ground you. A shiver went down your spine.

“I don’t want you to be mad at me, I am sorry I made you uncomfortable.” He held you tighter, and you tried to breathe, clinging to him as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, the same spot Viktor had kissed, where he bit you. Your fingers flexed, your mind replacing Viktor’s kiss with Jayce instead. “I just needed to see you, I will leave if you want me to. I just had to tell you.”

You tried to speak, but your body and your mind were betraying you. It was just your body reacting to his touch, nothing more. This was Jayce, your best friend, your partner. You closed your eyes tightly, taking in a deep breath. Your hand reached the back of his head, hugging him with your other arm as you leaned your head against his. You let out a shaky sigh.

“I’m the one that should apologize to you, I was rude.” Jayce shook his head, his nose burrowing even deeper. “I was. It was dumb I got mad. You had a right to also feel awkward, I just took it personally. I thought it wasn’t fair I had seen you half-naked around my apartment, but when you saw me it was different.”

“That’s not what-.” He spoke against your neck, his voice muffled.

“Can we just forget it happened? I’m not mad at you, and I don’t want you to be this sad.” You gave him a quick squeeze, smiling against his shoulder. “Does that sound good?”

Jayce pulled back a bit, but he stayed there, you felt his gaze on your neck before he pulled back to finally see you. There was a frown there, his eyes big and sad.

“Yeah.” He murmured.

“Do you want some coffee? I can make us some.” You offered with a gentle smile. “Come on, take a seat while I make it.”

An hour had gone by, and you and Jayce were back to normal, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. One hour turned into five, it was evening when Jayce decided to cook for the two of you, laughing and joking while the two of you prepared ingredients. Five hours into ten when you and Jayce yawned, papers scattered around your living room. And then turned into the early hours of the night, with you lying on one side of your bed with Jayce lying on the other, completely knocked out from staying late and helping you out with your notes.

Viktor never came to your apartment, and he never called.

Taglist: @mommymilkers0526 @crvcified-kinx @night-fall-moon @21-princess @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @pebble-bb @frogboyjxden @bxxerry @wnbrw @venusjr-12doctor

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[uceyliyahh]

NOVACANE

Summary: After dealing with a traumatic event in Desiree's past life she decided to keep her heart closed off and didn't have any desire to love again until she met him.

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE, PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

word count: 5380

Jey Uso x Desiree

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic

@hunnidmilly @celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @luvrsluxe @4milly @xbriexx @trippinsorrows @yyaktayak

Ø2

"You're mine and only mine"

"Let me in mamas I won't hurt you like he did, I am nothing like him,"

"The heart knows what it wants and so do you,"

"Let me take care of you,"

DESIREE I found myself at the club early in the morning, a time when the place was completely empty. It was the perfect opportunity to practice some new moves I had picked up from Zasmine. She was the only one who welcomed me when I first arrived, and her support has made all the difference.

People around me would often shoot me disapproving looks, making it clear they were judging me. At first, it was frustrating to overhear their whispers and gossip about my life.

Zasmine was the sole individual who truly respected me and supported me through everything; the others were merely driven by greed and self-interest. As I focused on perfecting my new move, I hardly noticed who entered the room.

While I was spinning on the pole in the Jade pose, I had my wireless headphones on, enjoying some music to keep myself entertained. Suddenly, I noticed him leaning against the wall, watching me with admiration, and it sent a wave of nerves through me.

I paused just before stepping off the pole, shifting my headphones aside as I noticed him approaching. Taking a sip of water, I watched Jey stroll up to the stage, hands tucked into his pockets, a smile lighting up his face as he looked at me.

He kept his promise

I returned his smile and stepped closer to him on the stage, settling down just as I had the day before, shattering the quiet that hung between us. "Hey there, Joshua," I said.

"Hey, pretty girl, I see you have a lot of skill up on that pole there," he said as I looked back at the pole then at him.

"I mean I have been doing this since I was nineteen so it's nothing new to me," He nodded his head while coming between my legs how he did yesterday and 'god I could feel his dick brushing up between my legs.'

Joshua is undeniably attractive, and it's no surprise that girls are drawn to him. Just take a moment to appreciate his charming smile, stylish mullet, and eye-catching Cuban link chain. With those fresh kicks, he clearly has a passion for sneakers that adds to his appeal.

What really stood out to me was the way he was dressed in a complete Nike tech fit, all in blue—my favorite color. It was clear he had a sense of style and confidence that made an impression.

"You're wearing my favorite color you know," he looked down at his fit then back up at me.

"I didn't know actually," all I could do was smile at him I couldn't let him get through me.

I was taken by surprise as he drew me nearer, his hands resting on my hips and gently caressing my sides. This unexpected display of affection stirred a mix of emotions within me, almost compelling me to create some distance between us.

Joshua placed as soft kiss on my neck and cheek, "I wanna get to know you more princess," oh no Desiree you have to push him away.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "As a friend or more?" I asked him.

"Both actually, it's something about you is different mama,"

I shook my head, "Joshua I'm not a good person to love on, I'll just bring you down," it was true that's how Jayden felt all the time when we were together.

His gaze at me was something that I couldn't read but I couldn't let him in it's not right, it'll make me look like an idiot if I do. "Lay it out on me baby doll,"

"You wouldn't know how to deal with a woman like me you'll get tired of me soon," he needs to understand we can't be doing this I am not ready.

Jey arched an eyebrow at me, his fingers gently tracing circles on my inner thighs. With a confident tone, he said, "I can definitely take care of you, sweetheart; all you need to do is let me in."

Let him in I couldn't I am to much of a broken person.

As we locked eyes, I found myself questioning his intentions. 'What could a striking man like him possibly see in someone like me?' Just then, I felt his hands glide around my hips, giving a gentle squeeze that sent a delightful shiver through me.

I had to end this before things between us get really heavy.

"Look, Joshua I know you mean well but I just can't I'm sorry I've been through a lot," I said getting up from the stage grabbing my things so that I could avoid being a dummy for a man I just met yesterday.

I turned and made my way toward the door beside the stage, but I could feel his footsteps trailing behind me. Suddenly, he reached out, wrapping his arms around my waist and drawing me in closer to him.

Jey gazed into my eyes, his expression earnest. "Open up to me, sweetheart. I'll look after you, I swear. You don't need to put on a brave face with me. Just reveal your true self," he urged, and I searched his eyes for any hint of jest, hoping to discern the truth behind his words.

His gaze revealed everything; it was as if he could see right through the facade I wore daily. My lips parted, ready to speak, yet no words escaped. The way he touched me, caressing me with a tenderness that felt both thrilling and perilous, left me breathless.

Jey's gaze flickered from my lips to my eyes, and I could almost hear him think, 'Why does he have to be so stunning?' I felt an overwhelming urge to distance myself in that moment, yet I found myself unable to do so.

"J-Josh...I-I," before I could finish my sentence I felt him place his lips upon mine as our lips were moving in sync.

His hand gently stroked my cheek as his tongue danced within my mouth. I found myself pulling him closer, my fingers entwined in his mullet, deepening the kiss even further.

While doing so, I felt his hardened manhood brush against me; it was as if something inside of me had been ignited. He held me close as he ran his tongue down my throat despite my attempts to push him away.

"Lemme' prove to you tonight before I leave..." he muttered.

'He was a good kisser better than Jayden I'll give him that.'

His lips were soft and delicate

But why is he making me feel this way?

"J-Josh.." I muttered between the kiss.

"Let me mama," he was begging at this point we pulled away from each other as we made eye contact.

He pressed his lips against mine again, and I couldn't help but think, 'Wow, he's an incredible kisser.' As I playfully tugged at his hair, he lifted me by the thighs and set me down on the stage. It felt as if I was craving even more of this electrifying connection.

"You don't know what you're asking for Joshua...you'll get tired of me especially while you're on the road," he smiled at me before placing another soft kiss on my lips.

"You're just assuming mama...imma show you tonight when I see you aight?" he said softly as I nodded my head.

'Maybe he's right maybe I am just assuming things right now but was I ready to be open and vulnerable for him?'

'Would I be enough for him?'

Jey pressed his lips gently against my cheek and then my palm before stepping out the door, leaving me in a surprising state of arousal that I hadn't even realized until that moment. Questions flooded my mind: 'Am I really drawn to him?' 'Did he just ignite this unexpected desire within me?'

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

JEY As I left the club, I found myself behind the wheel, heading to my twin brother's house. I needed to talk about what had just happened with Desiree. She seemed so distant and guarded, and I couldn't shake the feeling that her behavior was tied to something from her past that I was unaware of.

Her voice echoed in my mind, saying, 'I'm not good enough for you, Joshua,' 'You'll grow weary of me, especially when you're away,' 'I'm a damaged person.' What did she really mean by that? Was there something significant that I should be aware of?

As I arrived at their house, I noticed their car sitting in the driveway. I switched off my engine and made my way to the front door, knocking and eagerly anticipating Trin's arrival to greet me.

As I waited for Trin to arrive at the door, I found myself scrolling through my social media. That's when I noticed Desiree had shared something on her story, and I couldn't help but think how absolutely stunning she looked.

I felt my dick harden at the sight of her, and the way she was practicing on that pole in her small attire really turned me on. I took a time to acclimate, and when I looked up to see the door opening, I saw Trin smiling.

"Brother! Welcome in," Trinity said.

"What's good sis," I said as me and her gave each other a hug, I saw Tank and Marley running up towards me wanting some love as well.

As I gently petted both of them, I made my way into the house, carefully removing my shoes and placing them on the shoe rack. I then headed to the refrigerator to grab a drink, all while hearing Jon's footsteps approaching.

"Yo! Uce! What's Hannin dawg!"

Me and Jon dapped up each other while sitting on the couch together, "so you ready for this upcoming match on Raw?" he asked as I nodded my head.

"Yeah, fasho but I have something to tell yall if that's cool," I said.

"What's up brother?"

I let out a deep sigh as thoughts of Desiree filled my mind. "You remember how Bianca is always raving about her best friend? Well, it turns out she actually lives here with her while she's on tour and works at a strip club," I shared.

I shared a stunning photo of her from her Instagram, knowing they would be captivated by her beauty and the grace with which she danced on the pole.

"Her best friend is really pretty honestly I would love to meet her," Trinity said.

"What's that got to do with you, Uce? Are you into her or what?" I glanced up at them, a slight grin on my face. Yes, I had a crush on her; her beauty had me completely enchanted, and I couldn't resist the thought of making her mine before long.

I could feel my brother jostling me as we both burst into laughter, watching Trinity roll her eyes in exasperation. "She's unique, unlike any girl I've ever dated, but I can't shake the feeling that my clueless cousin might try to make a move tonight," I remarked.

"Zilla? Oh no baby he's a player and we all know it so you better make a move," she said.

"That's the problem she seems scared and closed off from everyone and just keeps to herself," I said.

"Well you gotta prove it to her when you see her before we hit the road," I agreed with her I had to make a move before Zilla could knowing how he is.

I was in love with this girl

I chose to send her a thoughtful message to express my sincerity about our conversation. My goal was to encourage her to be open and vulnerable with me tonight, fostering a deeper connection between us. I believe that by sharing our true selves, we can strengthen our bond and ensure that we stay in touch when I return to see her.

IMESSAGE 💬 Joshua💵: Mamas? Desiree🦋: hm? Joshua💵: you know can trust me Desiree🦋: Josh I'm not good person Joshua💵: how so? Tell me how are you not a good person? Desiree🦋: I've been through a lot Josh that I don't wanna get into I'll see you tonight Joshua💵: don't shut me out mama Desiree🦋: I gotta go Josh

I let out a deep breath, sensing that she's holding back something important. But tonight, I'm determined to uncover it. I genuinely care for her, and I want her to be by my side, completely.

"You really like Bianca's best friend huh Uce?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah I do, I guess love at first sight does exist," I said.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

After staying at Trin and Jon's house for bit longer I was sitting in their living room watching some television until it was time for me to see Desiree at the strip club, I couldn't stop thinking about her especially while watching TV my dick got hard just wanting to be near her I had to adjust myself again.

I felt my phone buzz, and as I glanced at the screen, I noticed a message from Zilla. With a sigh, I rolled my eyes while reading what she had to say.

IMESSAGE 💬 Zilla🩸: Uce! We heading to the club tonight I call dibs on that one shawty Jey🩸: Desiree? Nah she all mines for tonight why don't you have Ke'Liyah Zilla🩸: C'mon Uce let me at least have a little good time with her Jey🩸: nah dawg she's mine Zilla🩸: fine whatever but next time imma get with her Jey🩸: whatever I'll see yall there then Zilla🩸: aight then

I wasn't about to let him just come in and leave with Desiree; she was my focus for the night. I made a promise to her that I would demonstrate just how serious I am about our connection. I wanted her to feel comfortable and open with me, but I also longed to make love to her and deepen our bond.

I started browsing through my social media, catching up on everyone's Instagram stories. That's when I came across Desiree's post, showcasing the adorable outfit she planned to wear tonight. I couldn't resist and decided to slide into her DMs.

IG MESSAGES 💬 uceyjucey: damn mama you look good in that 😩😩 desifromtheblock: thank you papa 🫶🏽 uceyjucey: papa? girl you better stop playing with me Desiree desifromtheblock: are you still coming tonight like you promised me uceyjucey: yes mama imma be there be patient desifromtheblock: I just don't wanna get my hopes up that's all uceyjucey: well imma be there aight? desifromtheblock: okay... uceyjucey: what's up mama I can feel your energy is off right now desifromtheblock: it's nothing I'm okay uceyjucey: un-un don't do that what I say about shutting me out? I'm tryna get to know you Desiree desifromtheblock: why tho Joshua? I'm not special I'm not important I'm not the prettiest girl either there are a bunch of girls in here that you could've choose from but why me?

'There it is her feelings are starting to come out,'

uceyjucey: Desiree I choose you because you caught my eye when I walked in there especially after having that session with Ke'Liyah it was you always been you

desifromtheblock: I am a broken person Josh it's going to drain you uceyjucey: Idc mama idc let me take care of you baby I don't need you to be pushing me away desifromtheblock: I gotta go Josh uceyjucey: nah stop running from me Desiree I'm not here to have fun, use you, play you like a dummy I'm fr mama desifromtheblock: I-I...I'll talk to you when you get here

I let out a deep sigh, running my fingers through my beard. I realize I need to demonstrate my feelings rather than just explain them. From what I gather, it appears she has endured a difficult relationship prior to our time together.

I need to show her that she has nothing to fear. It's important to me that she feels safe and secure when she's with a good man like me.

I informed Jon and Trin that I was getting ready to go to the club and promised to update them tomorrow. As I started the car and cranked up the music, I also let Zilla know I was in route to the club.

I took a blunt from my glove department lighting it up while heading towards the strip club to see Desiree I took a puff out of the blunt feeling my body getting heavy listening to some Kendrick Lamar in the car.

I had no idea I would end up falling for someone like her. Honestly, she was truly one of a kind.

I put out the blunt as I turned off the car after finally arriving at the strip club and observing how crowded it is for tonight—likely some horny bastards merely looking to get some pussy and dick sucked.

As I glanced back at my car to confirm my parking spot, I stepped into the building and was immediately struck by the lively atmosphere. The place was buzzing with people, and among them was Ke'Liyah, captivating the crowd as she danced on the pole, with guys eagerly tossing their cash in her direction.

As I approached the table, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the sight of Zilla and the others gathered there. We exchanged friendly greetings before diving into conversation.

"Look at all of these girls Uce, they is sexy as fuck you feel me," Zilla said.

"Yeah, I agree with you dawg," I said averting my attention trying to find Desiree.

My gaze drifted in search of her, completely oblivious to the girls approaching us. They held no interest for me; my heart was set on Desiree. Just as I continued my search, my cousin nudged me, pulling me back to the moment. "Ain't that yo' girl right there Uce?" he said.

She stood there, looking stunning in that outfit, dancing on the pole across the room, and it was driving me wild. I couldn't resist getting up from my seat and making my way toward her, but just as I was about to reach her, an arm blocked my path. I turned to find Ke'Liyah standing right there.

"Why don't you come play with me instead of the newbie daddy?" she said as I yanked my arm away from her.

"Nah, I'm good finna go see what she's about," I said.

"She's not even that good in the bed like I am, or even at the pole she just wants to be a pick me," I couldn't believe what I was hearing right now.

Desiree's guarded demeanor made perfect sense to me; the girls here were genuinely bullies. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I made my way toward her. Leaning against the wall, I watched her gracefully navigate the pole, executing the same mesmerizing move she had performed earlier that morning. 'My heart raced—she looked absolutely divine.' When our eyes met, she flashed a knowing smile, a silent acknowledgment that I had kept my word.

I ran my tongue along my lips, then tucked them in as I gazed at her with an intense hunger, a silent promise that she would be mine by the end of the night.

I had fantasies about her bouncing on my dick in that exact same manner because of the way she was tossing her ass back up and down on the floor. 'She's making me incredibly lustful right now; I need her, I want her, I want her in every way.' Her attractive face simply captivates me.

I have to confess that I wasn't comfortable with the way those men were all over her, but I understood it was part of her job. As I made my way across the floor toward the stage, I couldn't help but notice the way her body moved.

Desiree approached me, her eyes sparkling with mischief. I playfully smacked her backside before adding some bands, knowing she truly deserved it. As she leaned in, her soft hands cradled my face, and she pressed a sweet kiss on my lips. In that moment, I felt an overwhelming urge to pull her close and show my affection right there, but I managed to hold back, keeping my composure in front of everyone.

"You didn't break your promise, that makes me happy." She whispered.

I caressed her cheek, "I told you mama, you can't always assume," I whisper softly before placing some more money in her chest.

She stepped off the stage, grasping my hand and leading me to the couch. With a gentle push, she lowered me down and positioned herself on top, moving against me in a captivating rhythm.

My hands rested firmly on her hips, steering her movements to the beat of the music. I pushed my hips up, letting her feel the intensity of my desire for her in this moment. 'What am I going to do with her?' I wondered, as I playfully smacked her backside, reveling in the connection between us. It was clear she was relishing this experience just as much as I was.

She moved in closer, her lips brushing against my neck, prompting me to tilt my head to the side. I couldn't resist the urge to grasp her curves, playfully squeezing as I did.

Desiree's gentle kisses danced along my neck, her hands exploring my chest and legs, igniting a fire within me. I was as hard as a rock, overwhelmed by the moment. With a surge of passion, I lifted her by her thighs and carried her to one of the private rooms, eager to embrace the intimacy that awaited us.

I closed the door softly, gently placing her on the bed as I positioned myself between her legs, her gaze fixed on me. With a confident motion, I removed my shirt, revealing my tribal tattoos, before sliding her panties aside.

As our lips met in a tender embrace, the intensity of our kiss ignited a fire between us. This moment was a stark contrast to the gentle peck I had given her earlier that morning; it was a kiss fueled by desire and longing, a hungry connection that spoke volumes about our passion for one another.

My tongue was exploring her mouth as she tugged onto my mullet yearning for more as I began to rub her wet folds I could feel her flinch at my sudden touch.

She felt super wet as I continued to rub her slick folds moving her straps to the side massaging her breast while she moaned between the kiss.

We pulled away from each other as I grabbed her breast sucking on her nipple while giving her pussy a slap.

"Show me Joshua...prove to me...that you're different...prove to me that I'm the only one you want in this club right now," she begged.

I proceeded to sticked two fingers two fingers inside of her warm cunt gentle thrusting my fingers in and out of her hearing nothing my sticky sounds as she began moaning my name.

We kept that eye contact with each other while I placed a soft kiss on her lips watching her take my fingers so well I brushed up against her g-spot with my fingers causing her to squirm.

She held her legs up as I put my face into her wet pussy flicking my tongue on her slick folds feeling Desiree jolt.

I was making out with her pussy while picking up the pace with my fingers deep inside of her while she was tugging on my hair.

"O-oh...F-fuckk..." Desiree moaned.

She gazed down at me while I was focusing on her and only her as she threw her head back in pleasure something she hadn't experienced before, keeping her legs up for me like a good girl that she is.

I rolled my tongue on her clit gazing up at her seeing her fold and gripping onto her legs for dear life, "you can handle it right baby?" I muttered.

"Yes Josh yes...fuck..." she breathed out.

I was eating her wet cunt like it was a lunch she tasted so sweet and savory I wanted to eat her out every single day if I wanted too, slurping her up like some jello working my tongue on her.

I knew that she was about to come I pulled my fingers from her wetness as she whined which made me chuckle at her seeing her face all pouty.

I proceeded to pull down my sweats along with my boxers seeing my dick spring up hitting my stomach as her eyes went wide at the sight of it.

"It's big...I don't know if it'll fit me..." Desiree said.

I leaned in forward giving her a kiss on the lips stroking my dick before aligning myself. "I'll make it fit mama don't worry just lay back and let me take care of you," I said as she did what she was told.

I aligned myself into her entrance as I slowly pushed myself inside of her warmth, I could see her eyes rolling in the back of her head while I gave her slow and steady strokes.

She felt so good wrapped around me while I proceeded to kiss her all over her body and neck placing marks on it claiming her to be mine.

Her body was so gorgeous

I pushed her legs back pushing my dick deeper into her wet cunt feeling her clenching around me causing me curse underneath my breath.

"you gotta let me in mama, fuck you feel so good," I grunted as I gripped her hips tightly.

"You're so deep Josh...fuck..." she moaned while feeling up on my chest.

She was so perfect feeling all up on me like this feeling my dick harden inside of her, all you could hear was her gushy insides in the background while the music was muffled.

I was pounding her pussy so good had her ass seeing stars making me throw my head back in pleasure, I leaned in closer to her face placing my forehead on hers tonguing her down as she wrapped her arms around my body.

I was giving her every single inch of me while her nails were digging inside on my back causing me to hiss but I didn't mind it at all, I sped up my pace beating up her mushy insides hearing her beautiful moans in my ear.

"Ouuu, fuckkkk Joshuaaaa, you fucking me so good,"

"yeah, let daddy have his way with you mama, this my pussy you hear me?" I growled giving her thigh a slap while she nodded her head.

I thrusted harder inside of her taking her to the oblivion as she screamed loudly, trying to push me away which caused me to wrap my hand around her throat fucking the brains out of her pussy.

"I-I...F-fuck..."

"Take this shit, don't run from me baby," I tucked the bottom of my lip in gazing down at her with my dark gaze. 'She's so fucking pretty fuck,'

My dick was gliding through her g-spot circling my hips hitting her spot so good I felt her legs tightening up signaling that she was going to come.

It felt like I was inside of her stomach as she began choking me too which caught me off guard but I like that type of shit, "C'mon baby doll give it to me, cum all over me mama I want it," I whispered in her ear.

I could feel her body twitching while I was talking her through it in her ear seeing her eyes roll, I pressed my other hand against her stomach encouraging her to make a mess on me.

She let out a loud moan feeling her body twitching as I continued to pound her pussy in like no other feeling all of her cream on my dick sounding gushy and sticky.

Something I love to hear

"Look at you mama, taking me so well baby,"

My movement began sloppier and sloppier by every single thrust I was giving her feeling my dick twitch inside of her, her pussy was so good I was about to bust real quick.

Speeding up my pace while she was throwing her head back in the sheets tucking her bottom lip in with her teeth gazing up at me with her innocent eyes that just turned me on a lot.

She was tugging on the sheets, "oh my god...joshuaaaa...fuck..." Desiree moaned.

I cursed underneath my breath, "I'm finna nut mama, I'm finna nut," I warned her while continuing to fuck her silly.

After a few more strokes I pulled out from her seeing her cream coated on my dick as my warm seeds began shooting out from my peep hole like a volcano onto her stomach.

I rose from the bed and made my way to the bathroom to grab some tissue, ready to help her as she lay there, feeling utterly defeated. When I returned, I found her still waiting for me, needing my assistance to clean her up.

I tidied up her stomach gently before planting a soft kiss on her neck. Then, I settled beside her, drawing her closer, showering her with the affection she truly deserved.

"Talk to me mama, you okay?" I asked as she opened her eyes looking at me.

"I never felt this way about somebody before, it's been a whole three years to be honest," she confessed.

I sat up straight, absorbing her frustrations as she expressed, 'All I wanted was for her to talk to me instead of shutting me out.' I arched an eyebrow in curiosity and asked, "What do you mean by that?"

She began to express her frustrations about being trapped in an abusive relationship with someone who failed to appreciate her as a person, treating her more like a worn-out doll. Desiree went on to share the reasons behind her emotional walls and the defenses she built, all stemming from the pain of her previous relationship.

No wonder why she said all of that to me only to push me away but I'm still here I wasn't going anywhere

I noticed a tear rolling down her cheek and gently brushed it away with my thumb before pressing my lips to hers. Then, I rested my forehead against hers, tenderly cradling her chin in my hand.

"Hey, look at me baby, I will never do anything like that to you I can't imagine you going through that," I said.

"How can I believe you? How can I trust you, I told you I am no good I will constantly overthink and accuse you of things," she said.

"That's fine mama, I'm not leaving you I am here to reassure you and love you correctly if you let me,"

I meant every word I said: I want to be her source of tranquility, her sole refuge. It doesn't matter to me if she doubts my intentions or overanalyzes my actions; I have confidence in who I am.

"I have to think on it Josh, it's been so long since I've been in a relationship,"

I empathized with her perspective and felt it was important to allow her the time she needed. My goal was to continuously demonstrate that I was nothing like him.

"I'll give you time mama, but I want to prove it to you too that I'm not playing around," I said she nodded her head.

I could feel her feeling on my tattoos admiring my ink on my body and arms, "when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning gotta catch a flight, I'll text you, hell might fly yo' cute ass out there whenever," I could see a smile appearing on her face as she pulled me in for a kiss.

As we rose from the bed, slipping into our clothes and making our way out of the room, the music thumped loudly in the background. I noticed Ke'Liyah giving us a fierce look, but it didn't faze me. I was determined to show everyone that Desiree was mine.

I faced Desiree grabbing her cheeks caressing them with my thumbs placing my lips on hers, "I'll let you get back to work mama I'll text you aight?" I said.

She flashed me a smile before making her way to the locker rooms, and that's when I felt a slight shove. Turning around, I found Ke'Liyah right in my face.

"Why were you with her? Don't tell me you fucked her," Ke'Liyah said while I scoffed in disbelief.

"I did and it was the best sex I ever had with her than you so if you excuse me I gotta go," I said as I left her standing there.

I knew it was going to be some shit when I messed with Ke'Liyah but I hope nothing happens to Desiree while I'm gone on the road hopefully everything will be okay

NOVACANE

A/n: man oh man Desiree girl you better let him in fr fr but I understand that she needs time to think things over before just jumping into another relationship.

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.

STAY UCEY.

[scoops-aboy86]

wc: 647 | Rating: T | CW: mentions of infidelity, technically hurt no comfort because I haven’t written the part where they make up | Additional Tags: future fic, famous Eddie Munson, past Steddie

Okay, look. The tv was on in the background, and Ross and Rachel were breaking up, and this happened in my head. I’m posting it for Fuck It Friday because fuck it. The only thing getting me through life right now is cough drops.

Hell of a Time at the Wake

“Yeah, haven’t had a drink or touched any drugs in five years, as of last month.”

“Oh wow, so that’s from before Corroded Coffin made it big.” The interviewer chuckles. “Usually it’s the fame and rehab that come first.”

“I prefer to think of myself more as regionally notorious, but sure. Never did the rehab thing, though.”

“Well, what’s the story there?”

Behind their frontman, the rest of the band shares a look. “Oh, we don't need to—” 

“Nah, Jeff, it’s okay man.” Eddie waves them off, then turns back to the interviewer. “Back before we hit the road to make a name for ourselves, I was seeing someone back home. I mean, the someone. The one. But we kept having this same… not really a fight, just this thing: I wanted to leave town, they didn’t. And then finally we had this huge blowout about it that started as something else and somehow turned into that again, which turned into both of us storming off. They went home, and I went out and got completely shitfaced, and in the morning I woke up with someone whose name I didn’t even know in bed with me.”

The interviewer winces. 

“Yeah. And when you do something shitty like that, it’s going to come out sooner or later. Or pretty much immediately, in this case, which.” Eddie grimaces and shrugs. “Well, it gave us something else to fight about, that’s for sure. I knew I’d fucked up bad, but it took hours of back and forth before I realized that we were done done. Trust completely obliterated, no way to come back or move on from that, just… over.”

There’s a pause where he stares off into space for a moment, stuck on a memory. Then he shakes himself and refocuses. 

“Anyway, at some point during my doomed attempt to salvage things, I swore I’d never have another drink ever again. Which, the being drunk of it all wasn’t really the problem, so saying that didn’t buy me anything, but… even after it ended, I didn’t. I’d been so fucked up that night, and it wasn’t the booze so much as the fear of it being over that made me a one man self-fulfilling prophecy—but I hurt someone I loved more than anything, and I never wanted let myself get that fucking stupid again, so. I haven’t. And honestly, I sleep better knowing that.”

“Wow.” The interviewer is staring at him, stunned. Probably doesn’t get a lot of this sort of thing, not just because of all the wild rockstars and other celebrities that come on the show with stories about trashed hotel rooms and wild parties, but because Eddie is being honest. 

It’s not something he talks about… ever, really. Not even with the guys. But, after five years, it doesn’t hurt the same. It’s not even for St—

It’s not for his ex anymore, if it ever was. 

“Why would it be weird?” Gareth is saying. “We have a built in DD, that’s always great. And Eddie doesn’t give us shit for anything, he’s just honest when we ask if anything was too out of hand. It’s a good reality check.”

“And like,” Doug adds, “he’ll still come out with us to clubs and shit to hang out. But if he says he doesn’t want to drive us to a bar it’s not some passive aggressive or superiority thing because we drink and he doesn’t; he’d really just rather fuck off and do something else.”

“Gee, thanks,” Eddie says dryly, but he’s smirking. 

Doug flashes him finger guns, the fucking dork. “You’re welcome, asshole.”

And the interview moves on. These guys have been Eddie’s friends even longer than they’ve been his bandmates, and the four of them are solid. If the gossip vultures out there want something to pick at, they’ll have to find a different target. 

Permanent tag list (ask to be added/removed):

@hotluncheddie @hiei-harringtonmunson @sofadofax @hickeysgodcomplex @oatmilk-vampire

@wheneverfeasible @hamiltonswiftie @grtwdsmwhr @yesdangerpls @theseaofdespair

And then someone shows Steve the interview and he asks Robin for Eddie’s number, and they talk for the first time in years and end up falling back in love, but that’s the hard to write part so this is what you get. Xoxo

[confused-disaster32]

hi I'm here regarding your tags: Cara's terminal illness? He's not having a good time with it but the presence of his rash means he's in secondary stage, which comes prior to latent, asymptomatic phase. The vast majority of people who suffer from syphilis don't actually live long enough for any other reason to EVER hit the tertiary stage which causes death. I think it's safe to say Caracalla's immune system is weak as all hell and he probably won't be that lucky, but he has the best part of his infection ahead - the part where it stops existing, sometimes for decades, before coming back with a vengeance. In theory, if he made it through the fevers and the rest of all that is going wrong with him in the time we get to know him, eventually, it would ease up. For years.

Also, without Macrinus - Geta was actually coming to learn to play the crowds. He listened to Lucilla when Lucilla chose mercy for Lucius against their rhino rider. He hesitates to make the call to the archers - despite all of his rage and hurt - when Lucius refuses to execute Acacius on command. Without Macrinus egging him on, he was hearing the crowd. Despite everything.

This is such a cope but it's also all true. They had hope. They're so goddamn young, but they were going through their hard lessons, and at least one of them was learning. The other one needed bed rest and antibiotics.

Oh - the terminal part I tagged that mostly cause I saw someone else who tagged it the same way and saw that syphilis could possibly get to a worst stage which I knew you could treat with antibiotics nowadays but wasn't entirely sure what happened back then when that wasn't really a thing.. (though I'll admit that I should've done a bit more of a search before that because I don't have a very in depth knowledge of how syphilis works and didn't know how long syphilis takes to get to the terminal point) - and honestly I'm still kinda learning a lot about their characters, which is why I honestly adore your posts though I do still always feel quite awkward/bad whenever I mischaracterise them cause they're genuinely such wonderful characters and I think sometimes I'm a bit too caught up with what they were in the films (manipulated and therefore not rlly having a great time...) and I don't give enough time to think about what they could've been had things gone different ways such as if Geta had had a chance to continue to grow as a person/emperor without Macrinus messing around in the background (though I was mostly basing that tag off of the fact that on the night of Geta's death people were really starting to riot and I didn't think enough about the fact that those rioters don't even get in that night cause like the next day Caracalla has a chance to announce the new consuls and eventually continue with the games and stuff - so my brain decided to just hand me a scenario that wasn't even all that canon compliant in the first place).

Idk if I'm actually getting my thoughts down as much as I'd like bc it's a little late for me rn but

Thank u for this tho bc I much prefer when someone tells me when I'm off then they just let me be cause I hate it when I accidentally mischaracterise a character esp if I'm fond of them 😭

[aroaceleovaldez]

thoughts on the current state of pjo fanart and/or how the fandom interacts with art? sorry if this question is so vague HAHAHHAHAHA i mean we've talked a lot about this in the TA server, specifically how a huge chunk of fandom being a community is lost due to fanartists basically just doing their own thing and the audience largely crowding around fanartists that are more or less established already... i also feel that, same as with fic writers, reception (i dont want to use the word 'engagement,' nor am i sure on if it's the right word to use lol) has drastically decreased compared to before, even though the fandom is reasonably large

Oh i have so many thoughts about this. I actually went on a tag rant on my main blog the other day adjacent to this exact topic.

Basically my current theory is the current widespread-fandom "environment" that exists is a result of a combination of two things: 1.) Widespread social media purges of nsfw material leading to large swaths of fandoms moving to different platforms and a loss of old fandom history and means of communicating that culture to the simultaneous large new wave of younger folks coming into fandom for the first time, and 2.) fandom becoming more mainstream and the way "fandom" as a concept was marketed and presented versus fandom practically.

Cause the way fandom was marketed in the mainstream sense was "This is a subculture surrounding a media. It's all about the media. Fanworks exist but they're just a natural part of fandom - they just kind of spawn or spontaneously appear." There's no acknowledgement of the community that is the actual foundation of fandom (and how some fandoms don't even have a source material!), and implies that fanworks are something guaranteed that you can take for granted and only exist for consumption like the source material itself. It's commodification of fandom.

There's also the secondary aspect of that mainstream marketing of fandom which is the sanitization of fandom, particularly painting large swaths of the community as "those icky weird parts of fandom" and something to be ridiculed, rather than an actual foundational aspect - which is where we see a lot of the purity culture in fandom arise (between that attitude being fostered and the dwindling resources to be able to educate new fans across fandoms). And this once again leads me to my usual spiel of encouraging folks to watch The Fandom documentary by Ash Coyote on youtube - particularly from the 1:03:27 timestamp - because learning pan-fandom history is very important especially right now when we're in a fandom climate where we're seeing a lot of these exact topics and talking points coming up again in different spaces. I seriously cannot stress enough how much I need this documentary to be like base-level fandom education, it's so so useful and important to know general pan-fandom history and major experiences of other fandoms.

Aside from all that though, I totally agree that we've seen a lot more of fandoms - particularly Riordanverse fandom - rarely straying away from BNFs who already have an established presence. I again think that's part of how the lack of community in modern fandom spaces makes it difficult for new fanartists and writers and such to get a lot of traction or footholds, because nobody is actually going out and having discussions or sharing work. The BNFs a lot of the time have old fandom presence and that established audience is how their work continues to travel. But also in modern fandom enviornments they're often treated as secondary source material - which is really terrible for them! Because it's such a rude and entitled attitude to have towards fancreators! And it is absolutely worse for fanfic writers I think particularly because of how when the media presents fandom as a whole in the mainstream, fanfiction very often gets the short end of the stick and is mocked, so new fandom folks don't appreciate it as much or even understand how to properly engage with it.

Especially also given how, because new fans are lacking a lot of fandom cultural knowledge that used to be passed on, a lot of them don't know how to navigate fandom sites like Ao3 and the language and structures used (like tagging systems - most new fandom folks are more used to tagging structures like on instagram or tiktok which is to say, completely nonfunctional) and are struggling with that since the resources to learn about it are difficult to find if you aren't already familiar with fandom - which is exactly why i'm working on my riordanverse fandom infrastructure project.

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[ruvviks]

finally got around making a proper outfit reference sheet for nathan! he likes wearing dark clothes which really emphasizes just how pale he is. he was a STEM developer at MOBIUS for nine years what did you expect </3 click for higher resolution and to get a closer look at all the details! outfits from left to right: his gear for the evil within 2, 1am convenience store trip, his mobius gear, and an improvised outfit for my own fictional the evil within 3 =^)

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@jacobseed, @swordcoasts

[chemdisaster]

"as long as it's not against a cc's boundary-" shut the fuck up. shut the fuck up. a boundary is what they're okay with being sent/tagged in. a boundary is not them telling fans to "draw this and not that". that's censorship. if some random tumblr person told you "oh hey, don't draw this ship cause i don't like it" would you comply? no, cause that's horseshit. and it's no different here. because guess what? cc's are people just like the rest of you, and if they don't like something they are fully capable of blocking the tag and/or clicking away. cc's are not better than you somehow and they should not dictate what you should and shouldn't draw, because art is fiction and fiction harms no one and one of the best thing about the internet is that when you don't like something you can just take a deep breath, close your eyes and click away.

[tsukasalover]

I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say

1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…

But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.

2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore

3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶

First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.

As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.

Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.

Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.

This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!

But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.

At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.

So, what can you expect in the near future?

I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.

Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕